“I need you to explain what Gwyneth is doing,” I begged my friend P a few weeks ago. “Because I’m lying awake at night not understanding this trip she’s on right now.”

P has always had a strong connection to Gwyneth. The kind of connection that comes from having the same colour hair as Gwyneth and an intrinsic understanding and respect for the mojo of a celebrity you’ve never met but worship from afar. Like me and…..Oprah? No, wait. Different hair. Worship her though. Anyway, back to Gwyneth.

“You understand Gwyneth,” I beseeched P. “You explain to me what her motivation is for all this……disclosure. Of her thoughts. Her body. Where’s Chris? Why has she replaced him with Madonna? I like Chris. I like them together. Where is he? What’s going ON?”

It started with her flashing her flesh on red carpets last year while simultaneously spruiking her trainer.

She would not SHUT UP about her workout program and her ‘genius’ trainer and her body. That made a little more sense when we discovered she was going into business with said genius to open a chain of gyms and sell workout videos.

Then she launched her GOOP newsletter where she shares her tips for….well, Being Gwyneth. Like this:

And this…

It’s odd. She used to have an air of mystery. Lord knows, she doesn’t need the money or the publicity. WHAT IS SHE DOING? “Look, I just don’t know,” sighed P, shrugging with defeat. “I thought I understood but I don’t. I think she’s been hanging out with Madonna too much. They just work out in front of mirrors and talk about abs. It’s not healthy.”

No, it’s not. So what’s the story? A friend of mind lives in a fancy shmancy appartment block in NYC. Gwyneth just moved in next door. No sign of Chris. No sign. Has she lost her way? Come under Madonna’s hard bodied influence?

I guess everyone is entitled to change. It’s not good. It’s not bad. It’s just different. But I always had the vibe she was sort of…. ABOVE the whole chasing fame thing, no? Not anymore.