I was dating a guy for a while, and it seemed to be clicking along nicely. He talked about long-term stuff, he told his friends about me, he even introduced me to his sister.
And then he got abducted by aliens. Or fell off a cliff. Or died in frozen aisle of the supermarket. I’m not sure what happened, but he completely disappeared. As I like to call it, he did a Ghosty.
One minute he was inviting me over for the weekend, the next minute, poof! He’d turned into a ghost. No more calls, no more messages. No responses to the voice mails I left (just to be clear, I was extremely far from stalker territory. I was very restrained, considering I wanted to beat his door down just to kick him in the shin and run away). Our plans for the weekend were left hanging in mid-air. I still don’t know if he actually died. We weren’t connected on any social media, so I was left typing his name into Google to see if any obituaries came up.
For an extremely mild-headed girl, I was absolutely livid. Any excuse under the sun would have made me a lot happier than a Ghosty. So, to all the dudes who have/will pull a Ghosty and disappear just as I had cleared you from the ‘potential asshole’ list, here’s what I want you to do.
Man up and lie to me.
I’d prefer to hear a bullshit excuse then nothing at all. I’d even find the bullshit excuse enjoyable – at least I can laugh at your tenacity, admire your creativity or roll my eyes and call you an asshole. It sure as hell beats silence. When it comes to getting dumped, silence is not golden. Silence is fucking infuritating. Silence makes me question everything I ever did/said/ate/messaged/cuddled/wore/watched/joked about with you. One tiny message would remind me that your disappearance is largely because of your own issues, and not because of something that I did (unless it IS something that I did, in which case sorry for eating all of your chips or whatever the problem was).