Your thirties are a time when everything you did in your twenties now looks pathetic to an outsider: crushing on a shirtless Zac Efron, losing your iPhone, drinking West Coast Coolers.
No longer can you drink too much and spend the night hugging a toilet bowl without looking tragic. No longer can you go from job to job with no real plan and escape judgment. No longer can you go to a bar without clocking the room for someone – anyone – who may be older than you.
And if you’ve gotten this far without having children, everyone – and I mean everyone – is suddenly interested in what you and your womb’s intentions are.
By now, you’re supposed to have ‘it’ together: your finances, your alcohol intake, the relationship, the career trajectory.
You’re old enough not to be considered young anymore and you’re young enough not to be considered old. You’re basically life’s version of a middle child.
At the ripe old age of 34, I’m regarded as the resident ‘old’ person in the Mamamia office (when Mia’s not in). Which is as ridiculous as it sounds, because a) I’m not old (right? Hello?) and b) I’m one of the most irresponsible people you’ll ever meet. Being older (not wiser) the task of writing a guide to being in your 30s naturally defaulted to me. I’d like to apologise in advance, and please know that this is intended to be read with a huge helping of sarcasm. Being in your 30s is actually ace. See? No one else in their 30s still uses the word ‘ace.’
By your 30th birthday, you’ve already lost 10 percent of your muscle mass. Congratulations!
This is the age where – according to ‘science’ – women start turning into their mothers. Coincidentally, this is also a time when women reach the peak of their sexual confidence. Make of that what you will.
Sadly, you’re now passed your peak beauty age (31 – seriously who does these surveys anyway?) but it’s not all bad news. J.K. Rowling published the first volume in the “Harry Potter” series just before she turned 32. Remember Mr. T from the A-Team (you won’t if you’re sub-30)? At age 30 he played the villain in “Rocky III,” so that’s something, right? Ok, maybe not. How about the fact that no one (apart from friends and family) knew who Oprah or Jane Austen were before they turned 30? There’s still time!
Move over twenty-somethings, 33 is the golden age for fashion, according this ridiculous (but definitely true) survey. Apparently we become comfortable with our personal style only at the age of 33. That or we have more money to shop from places other than Sportsgirl and Asos. So say goodbye to the fashion faux pas’ of the past. Before you get all smug about this new-found fashion fabulousness, say hello to sleep deprivation. A third of 33-year-olds say they the struggle to balance our busy work, family and social activities at this age leading to an average of only five hours sleep a night.