It’s been too long between Kerri Sackville posts. Today, she needs to confess a few things to lighten her load….
I’ve heard many a story about an unfaithful wife confessing all to her husband to ease her guilty conscience. It doesn’t necessarily make her poor cuckolded husband feel better, but it takes a big weight off her shoulders.
Well, I’m not having an affair (though if I was, I suspect I wouldn’t confess to it in an online blog). However, I do have a confession to make. Several, actually.
I lie in the course of duty. All the time.
Now, when I say ‘in the course of duty’, I’m not talking about my work as a writer. Everything I have ever written here or anywhere else, is true, with not even a shred of exaggeration. Nor do I lie in the course of my work around the house, except in the sense of being prostrate upon the floor, drumming my heels, and weeping pitifully at the amount of mess surrounding me. (Okay, so maybe a touch of exaggeration, but only a touch.)
No, when I lie is in the course of my duties as a wife and mother. And, to my great shame, which I hope here to ease, I do it rather frequently. (Okay, okay! I do it very frequently. This exaggeration habit is hard to break.)
I lie in many ways, sometimes to protect someone else, but usually, I admit, to protect myself. For example:
• I will, when particularly tired, agree with my daughter that the miniscule scratch on her leg is very serious, and that she can’t possibly be allowed to go to her swimming lesson. I will also earnestly explain the same to the swimming teacher the following week, in the hope of being granted a make-up lesson, which we will not attend anyway as we can’t be bothered.
• I will pretend to the cashier that I have no idea how Toddler got her hands on that half-eaten Kinder Surprise, when five minutes earlier I distinctly heard her say “Mama, I go get choccie!”
• I tell my kids I’m working when I’m actually Twittering.