Welcome to Group Therapy when you share your words of wisdom with someone who needs them. Today's dilemma is about LURVE….
Today, Mamamia reader MG needs your help with the following problem…
I know this is a bit of a corny question but I am (sadly) at that place again – how long is it normal in relationships these days to wait before you receive an "I love you" from your partner? We are both mid/late 20's. Thanks! MG
Ooooh. Tricky this one. I throw those words around so freely to everyone in my life that I've almost forgotten how torturous it can be to want to say it – and hear it! – but feel like you shouldn't. I don't know….I do recall blurting it out by accident a couple of times too early and that really is an awful feeling. Especially when you get the pity "I love you too" without any sincerity and you want to go an hide in your sock drawer…..
I think in theory, I'd prefer to wait for the other person to say it first. But what do I know. Over to you…..
[…and if you have a problem that needs some collective wisdom, submit it anonymously here…]
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Top Comments
If you feel it - you have to say it! Why should you hold it in? It's so rare! if he doesn't say it or feel it - then he may not be right. It's best to know.
My husband said it after about a week together (I did know him first as a friend). I was shocked, but found myself saying: I love you too, and realising at the same moment that that was completely true.
Also after a few months, he announced: 'I've been looking at rings, but I'm a bit overwhelmed, can you help me?'. That also felt really natural.
I've also said it and not meant it (to others) and it's the worst feeling ever, you feel repelled by yourself and like a total phoney. Obviously, it's even worse to be on the receiving end....
Four years ago my gorgeous friend I had been secretley in love with for months told me he loved me like it was the most natural thing in the world. It was very confusing because it was more a statement rather than wanting to take things further...trust me many hours were spent discussing with my friends! Then one night months later we were watching tv and he looked at me with a cheeky smile and said 'Can I kiss you?' I said yes.
We're getting married in February :)