If you have a free minute or two today, spare a thought for an unnamed internet user who turned to The Guardian for advice this week. He’s mostly okay, of good health. It’s just that, well, he doesn’t seem to understand… sex… we don’t think.
Writing into The Guardian, in an advice column that has since seized the internet and invited a multitude of unhelpful commentary, the advice-seeker wrote: “My girlfriend masturbates after we have sex. Why?”
“I thought the sex was good for us both, but when we finish she tells me to shower. I wondered why, and now I know – she masturbates. She has done it multiple times; I think she is insatiable. What should I do?”
Porn star Madison Missina has some advice for couples who have fallen into a dull routine when it comes to sex.
What should he do. What. Should. He. Do.
What should he do?
Mrs Advice-Giver, also known as psychotherapist Pamela Stephenson Connolly, was remarkably kind in her response.
“Many women crave a second orgasm, especially if she has been super-aroused during intercourse,” she wrote.
But, of course! A second orgasm. Of course. Right. Naturally. Of course.
NUP, said Twitter.
Perhaps Pamela Stephenson Connolly should have channelled a little more of Twitter user “Killmonger was Right”: