The date went so well. So, what went wrong? I had to find out.
A year ago I’d never even heard of being ghosted, let alone had it happen to me.
Gimme a break, I’ve not been single for long, I’m new to how all the online dating stuff works. I never knew there were so many words for crap stuff that happens to you when trying to find love: ghosting, breadcrumbing, zombieing, love bombing… I need a f*cking Oxford dictionary of shitty romance just to be able to translate it all.
But earlier this year, for the first time in my life, I was ghosted by a man. For the uninitiated, ghosting is what happens when someone you’ve been talking to suddenly disappears… no replies to texts, no calls, no explanation. Just the sound of silence echoing into forever. My ghosting happened post-date. Post-date, which I might add that up until the moment of said ghost moment, I had thought went very well.
We’d shared a drink, we’d gone for a walk, we’d talked movies, he’d brushed my hair back from my face just so he could “see me better”. He walked me back to my car and I’d asked if we could do this again sometime. He smiled, said “Absolutely!” and we’d shared a lingering hug and parted.
The next morning, he called. Yes the next morning! Unfortunately I’d slept in so I was in the middle of a mad dash getting ready for work so it went to voicemail. He left a message saying thank you for a lovely date. Well that was a good sign! I sent him a text echoing the sentiment and apologising for not answering. We texted back and forth that morning, referencing things that’d happened on our date and having a laugh.
And then it just… stopped. I tried a couple of times to initiate a new conversation but it felt like the life had been sucked out of whatever it was we might have had. After a few lacklustre texts, I left it. I didn’t want to double text; if he wanted me he’d call.
Top Comments
This is way way off. A guy in this situation my have ghosted for many different reasons, none of which were that he thought you weren't interested. Your lack of interest or apparent lack of interest might have gotten to him eventually but not after one date. Much more likely that he had a lack of interest. The bright idea of asking him why he ghosted you was not a very bright idea at all. At least not if you really wanted to find out why. Online dating is ruining what dating is supposed to be. It is the women's version of men buying prostitutes. I don't mean that in an absolute direct sense though. Certain types of women tend to really like online dating for a while. And these certain types make up a pretty big percentage of the total. Possibly even the majority. They like the overabundance of attention they are able to get. They will then often complain about all of the attention and how annoying it can be. I am not saying that they don't find some of it annoying or even degrading or disgusting. Regardless, they like it anyway. They also reap the benefits of such a large pool to choose from. They tend to get very picky when window shopping for men. Remember that men who window shop for women on a dating app are mostly either men you don't want or men that have no trouble finding women other than they have already had all the ones they know and have got to broaden their possibilities. You will be able to hook up with various guys that you find very attractive who are likely out of your league, but you need to understand that they have a long list of others at the same time. You need to be ok with the idea that you might be #25 on this list. You will likely get ghosted then he will show back up only to ghost you again and repeat repeat until you are used up.
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