Four years ago, at age 61, I discovered that the man that I’d loved and trusted for 20 years had a secret girlfriend on the side for the past 10, when he slipped up and left this text to her on my computer: "I love you and I have always loved you."
So much for the two of us growing old together.
I threw Mike out, changed the locks, found myself a top-notch therapist, and turned to friends and family for love and support.
Watch: Emotional VS Physical Affair. Post continues below.
It hurt. A lot. But I knew one thing at 61 that I hadn’t known at 21. As my pal, Larry said when he heard my news, "The biggest cliché of all is true — time heals."
Or as Laura Nyro once put it, "Nothing cures like time and love."
"You'll get through this," Larry told me, "All you have to do is continue to live, to breathe in and out, to survive, one day at a time."
How did he know? Well, he’d been there himself, as had most of my other friends.
Which is the other good thing about breaking up at 61 instead of at 21. I had a lifetime’s worth of great friends on my side, who went out of their way to share their accumulated wisdom and experience, and give me good advice:
"This will pass. You’re a catch."
"Dump him. Keep your sense of humour."
"Don’t look back. Forget that jerk. He didn’t deserve you."
"Focus on yourself and your future, not on the past and things you can’t control."