If you’ve pictured your entire future with someone – maybe talked about marriage and having kids – having that dream dashed can be like having the rug pulled out from under you.
Here, three women reveal the moment they broke up with the person they thought they would marry – and how they overcame it.
Jameela*, 34: ‘It was the most confusing and upsetting time of life.’
“Mark and I had a complete whirlwind romance. We said ‘I love you’ on our first date and then booked a six week holiday – it was seriously intense and all my friends were envious. After a few months, he told he wanted to marry me and gave me the budget for an engagement ring. I went to the jewellers with my mum and excitedly picked out the princess cut diamond of my dreams. ‘Leave it with me,’ Mark said. But a year passed and he didn’t propose. And in that time the cracks really began to show. Once the novelty of the whirlwind wore off, we fought constantly and there was a very passive-aggressive side to Mark that I really didn’t like. The night before my 30th birthday, we had a huge fight. The next day, I waited and waited for an apology, for a birthday gift – but there was nothing. Mark refused to take my calls, instead texting to tell me it was over. Even though I knew by then we had big problems, I was still completely blindsided by how he ended things. It was weeks before he had the balls to speak to me, and even then he refused to meet up to talk things through. I know now I had a lucky escape, but it was probably the most confusing and upsetting time of my entire life.”
Team Mamamia confess: When they knew it was time for a divorce. Post continues below.
Rachel, 35: ‘I knew I didn’t have a future with someone so fundamentally different.’
“I’d travelled all around the world before I met my partner Kevin and settled down. We’d had lots of conversations about marriage and kids but, after a few years, I started to get itchy feet and really wanted to do just one more big trip before having a family. My partner wasn’t keen – he was more of a one-week holiday on a sun lounger kind of person. But with all my stories of how great it had been, I managed to convince him to take three months off so we could travel South America together. The trip was a disaster. He complained about everything – the food, the budget accommodation I’d booked, the weather. He didn’t want to get to talk to new people or immerse himself in the culture. It was a huge turning point for me. I just knew I couldn’t marry and have kids with someone who was so fundamentally different to who I was. When we got back home, I ended things with Kevin. I remember us hugging and crying for hours but accepting it was the right thing to do. He has a new partner now and is settled and happy. I have moved overseas. I’m continuing my adventures as a single person and I know I’ve made the right decision.”