A little community service announcement team; gather around while I ascend the soap box and cross my fingers that I don’t come across like an ungrateful cow.
Please stop asking me when I’m getting engaged.
At the risk of sounding unappreciative that you even care enough to ask (which I’m not, thank you for your interest), it’s getting to me.
It was like someone sounded a social siren at our two-year mark to indicate it was time we move to the next life milestone. I get asked at least once a day, I don’t even want to know what that number is for my partner.
You’ll often hear me bat back a sassy quip like “we’ll get engaged when we win lotto and can afford that diamond the size of my face!”, or, “wedding? Have you seen how much our family drink? I’ll be paying off the bar tab for five years!”
We laugh, the topic of conversation changes and we both go about our merry way. The truth is, asking me about when I’m getting engaged makes me incredibly anxious.
Want to hear about weddings from someone who does want to talk about them? Listen to The Recap of Married at First Sight’s second episode. (Post continues…)
I feel pressure to reach an important milestone in your time, not mine.
I feel judged about whether my relationship is solid and committed if there’s no ring that proves there is long-term commitment.
I feel like there are more important questions I’d love for you to ask instead. Like: ‘Are you happy?’
Also, who says I’m getting married?
John Farnham says it best: take the pressure down. Cause I can feel it, its rising like a storm.
My heart drops when people ask my partner about popping the question and I’m standing RIGHT NEXT TO HIM. All aboard the awkward express. I watch the poor guy blush, take a deep breath and say “not today”.
(Sidenote, I’m going to choose to hear that he’s gritting his teeth regarding the pressure to ask, not the actual idea of it!)
I worry that he’ll feel pressured to ask, not because he’s ready but because society is ready. That’s the last thing I want or need.
Why are we always searching for what is next rather than living in the moment?