Does Nana belong in the birthing suite?

There are some places you’d rather not have your mum with you or would you? Mamamia reader Cara writes:

A helpful cake to take into the labour ward.

“I’m having my first baby in the next few months and earlier in the pregnancy, my mother asked me if she could come in and be with me during labour, along with my husband. My husband was fine about the idea and I found myself agreeing but as time goes on I’m starting to regret this… My whole life we have had a complicated relationship, although this is not confirmed I do suspect that my mum suffers from depression and has quite manic mood swings. She can be a wonderful and loving person, which I do believe is the real her, but when she is low she says and does some quite awful things.

The more I think about it, the more I realise how she has affected quite a few big events in my life, for example, the morning of my wedding she screamed abuse at me for about 15 minutes as the bathroom was in a mess (like you worry about that on your wedding day?) and at my year 12 graduation formal dinner she pulled me aside and refused to take any more photos as she said my stomach was sticking out in my dress and I should have made more of an effort to lose weight. She apologises later for these events but the more I think about it I would rather share the birth of my first baby with my husband alone, this is such a special and exciting time and I don’t want anything to ruin that.

But my mum is so excited about coming in for the birth and I don’t know what to do. I know she will be devastated if I told her I changed my mind … Do you think I should just be honest with her or try to make an excuse? My husband thought it might help our relationship… Any ideas?”