Now the final instalment of season six of Game of Thrones has aired, we feel there’s something we desperately need to talk about.
A well-kept secret. A conspiracy of silence. An elephant in the room, if you will.
We’ve been thinking it for a number of seasons now, questioning whether we might be the only ones who know.
But we’re ready to release the dragons. Take off the face(s?). Put ourselves before the Seven Gods. Blow up the wildfire. Face the Wildlings. Bring Jon Snow back to life.
The Binge discuss the season finale of Game of Thrones. (Post continues below.)
YOU GUYS. NO ONE HAS ANY IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS SHOW.
It’s perhaps the best-kept secret in pop culture history. We legitimately believe no one has any idea what’s happening, and they haven’t for at least five seasons. Probably closer to six.
Don’t lie. You’re confused too and this is a safe space to say so.
Last night we watched the eagerly-awaited finale. This wasn’t like a test we hadn’t studied for; we have invested SIXTY HOURS into watching this show. In our spare time we do homework. We read fan theories. We have themed parties. Once, we both dressed up as Khaleesi.
We are committed. Yet despite our investment, here are just some of the questions we asked each other during that hour:
Who are the kids killing everyone?
Who is that person?
Is he the guy who can change faces? No. Eh, maybe.
Why?
Who is that person?
Is she... wait... nah.
Huh?
No idea what's happening with Arya. At all. Like no clue.
Heh, heh, Cersei has a bowl cut.
Who is that person?
How did she get there?
Ahhhh, Littlefinger is trying to... nup.
Where is Jaime Lannister and what is he doing? Oh, there he is. Still don't know what he's doing.
Who is that person?
How did he get there?
Are they on the same team now?