Here comes the fuzz.
Have we got any pet-lovers in the house? Cuddle with your kitty in bed? Snuggle with your pup on the lounge?
Allow me tell you what must surely be one of the grossest things you’ve ever heard. If you know worse, I want to hear about it in the comments.
OK, here goes: an American woman named Michelle Barrow had a ball of cat fur wedged deep inside her vagina that had been accumulating for god knows how long.
In a story, very literally called It Happened To Me: My Gynecologist Found a Ball of Cat Fur in My Vagina that she wrote on XOjane, Barrow explains how things went down.
She went to her gyno for a regular pap test and a check-up. Barrow also wanted to ask the doc about a dull ache she’d been suffering in her lower abdomen.
Never did she suspect innocent domesticated cats Cricket and Donut could be responsible.
Her [Barrow’s gyno] guess was ovarian cysts and as she snapped on her rubber gloves she cheerfully said “Let’s take a look and find out!”
She began the exam and immediately starts muttering to herself. “What is that? I’ve never seen anything like that. What the heck IS that thing?”
Then she called a colleague to come have a look at the freakish fuzz inside Barrow, as the proud cat-owner lay spreadeagled on the table.
Barrow’s gyno told her it looked like maybe some strings from a tampon had gotten caught up in her IUD. But Barrow didn’t use tampons, she used a menstrual cup.
Then the gyno managed to pull the mystery mass out.
With her tweezers she holds up a glob about 2 inches long that looks distinctly furry and happens to be the exact same color as Donut. I’m speechless. The doctor’s waiting for me to say something but the only thought running through my head is:
“HOLY SHIT THAT IS CAT HAIR THERE HAS BEEN A BALL OF CAT HAIR INSIDE ME FOR A MONTH THAT IS CAT HAIR AND IT WAS IN MY VAGINA A HAIRBALL HAS BEEN CAUSING MY DISCOMFORT HOLY SHIT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Furball truthers are calling foul on Barrow’s claims, but, like she says, why would anyone lie about something as horrific as that?
“A few people have said stuff like, ‘I’ve had cats all my life and they always sleep with me and this has never happened so you must be lying!’” Barrow said. “I promise I wouldn’t make that up. Now I wish I’d taken a picture of it!” Barrow told New York Magazine.
I’m really grateful you didn’t, Michelle. But I do applaud your bravery in sharing that story under your own name.
And please, don’t let Donut and Cricket sleep in your bed anymore.
Gratuitous kitty gallery? Sure, why not.