I think I’ve fallen in love with a 10-year-old named Zoe.
For women in particular, it’s not uncommon to have encounters with people who don’t quite respect your personal space as much as you’d like them to.
Whether it’s a co-worker keen on giving you a hug when you’re definitely not in the mood, a relative who won’t stop grooming you against your will, or an overly touchy acquaintance, the feeling of having your personal boundaries encroached on is not a pleasant one.
For Zoe, enough was enough.
You see, Zoe has a classmate, Noah. It would seem Noah is one of those people who isn’t very good at respecting other people’s personal space. So Zoe thought she’d write Noah a list of rules and regulations to follow, lest he become confused about whether or not she wanted to be touched.
It is nothing short of brilliant.
My friend who’s a 5th grade teacher just sent this to me! I’m dead!!! pic.twitter.com/FSDBxs9Vtq
— Denny Dimples (@WhosDenverJones) September 15, 2016
Zoe’s list, which was shared on Twitter by a friend of her teacher, is the list SO MANY OF US have wanted to write at some stage. And she’s sassy AF.
Her rules are specific and straight to the point. Number one reads: “Do not touch my shoulder.” Amen – Noah, lay off the shoulder.
Number two has some serious attitude, with Zoe writing: “Do not get behind me with all that playing and foolishness (don’t get behind me at all.)”
This girl… this girl is my soulmate.
Her tone is just so on point. Number three reads: “Do not speak to me unless it’s a greeting, which will be never.” DAYUM GIRL.
How has school changed since we were there? Post continues after video.
Zoe is so adamant that she’d like Noah to stop with the unwanted attention, that she delivers the one line even grown women struggle to say: “You like me but I don’t like you.”
Eughhh how is this 10-year-old such a boss? She warns Noah that if he continues with his behaviour, she’ll call her dad, her mums friend, her fake mum (wait…what?) AND the janator, which yes, she acknowledges she spelled incorrectly, but that’s not the point.
Zoe also reminds Noah to “reread 500 times,” and warns him, “I have a short temper.”
I mean, I know I wouldn’t go touching Zoe without her consent after reading this, so hopefully Noah got the message.
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