By EM RUSCIANO
It will come as no surprise to some of you that I take costuming very seriously.
I may struggle with most other aspects of parenting (and, indeed, living) but if me or my children are in need of a themed outfit, I’ve got that shit covered.
So you can imagine my joy at discovering that sexxxy adult Frozen-themed costumes are available. Just in time for Halloween, too!
Naturally a few wowsers, who reside in No Fun Land, have come out and said things like: “Blah blah sexualising a children’s cartoon, wah wah I poo my pants, and tell children Santa isn’t real. Stop objectifying female characters.. Blah blah, I am also the under cover fun police.”
(I may have taken some creative licence with their comments and paraphrased them slightly, but you get the gist.)
Calm down wowsers! It’s not like we’re whacking these things on our kids!
I’m not attaching a bedazzled blue-sequinned nipple tassel that shoots fake-glitter ice out the top to my seven year old’s chest and yelling, “Werk it girl!” as she heads out to gather lollies. (Mental note: Catalogue ‘bedazzled blue-sequinned nipple tassel that shoots fake-glitter ice out the top’ in my Costume Ideas Folder.)
When I read about them I felt excitement, vindication. I saw opportunity!
I don’t know about you, but I have watched that bloody film 345,000 times and can nail every bit of dialogue.
I know all the characters intimately.
Spicing this movie up can only be a good thing for those of us who have sat through ‘Do you wanna build a snowman?’ more times that we care to count. Do I wanna build a snowman? I don’t know about that, but I have fantasised about melting the DVD a couple of hundred times. Is that the same thing?