This post was originally published on Role Reboot and has been republished here with full permission.
I was once the woman who secretly wanted to be a mother. By the next year, I not so secretly wanted to be a mother. Thankfully by the next spring, I was expecting my first son, but there were a lot of difficult and awkward moments along the way.
We all likely know someone who is hoping for a baby belly. Whether the fact that she is trying to get pregnant is public information or not, there’s a way to support a woman who is trying to conceive. Start by avoiding questions and statements like these:
“How long have you been trying?”
Longer than she would like, if you are asking, and it’s not her job to provide an update at every family function. If you’ve been there, you could say, “I am happy to talk about my experiences if you’d like.” If she wants to hear, she’ll ask. If you haven’t had your own experiences, you might just say, “I’m here to talk whenever you’d like.”
Many women do want to talk and they’ll appreciate the offer, but many will want to keep it private.
“I think you’re hiding something!”
She might be. She might not be. She might be nervous or not ready to share. She might be wearing baggy clothes because she is bloated and getting her period, an unfortunate moment for you to bring up pregnancy.