We’re going to need you to leave your dignity at the door. Because we’re about to delve into the embarrassing AF world of MSN Messenger.
The thing about MSN, is that it perfectly corresponded with the time in our lives when we were objectively at our lamest. It was a period where we were engaged in intense and pathetic image crafting, and had less than zero idea of who we were as human beings.
We were literally the worst version of ourselves.
We have a theory that MSN Messenger was shut down solely because they read our conversations [“Hiiiii Tom how r u? Lol.” “Gd gd, n u?”] and were so embarrassed they existed on the Internet that someone just went, “NO. ENOUGH. MSN needs to not exist anymore”. And for that, we are forever indebted.
LISTEN: If only we had the Three Question Rule. Mia Freedman, Monique Bowley and Jessie Stephens discuss on Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues below.
Here are the five things we most definitely have not forgotten about MSN.
- “Hiii, is Luke online for you? Pretty sure he blocked me, lol.”
Firstly, we weren’t really laughing. Because it wasn’t funny.
Secondly, Luke, who probably went by °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸Gangsta Luke°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø, definitely blocked us. Or he was appearing offline, because he wasn’t interested in speaking to us right now.
The politics of MSN were extremely serious and needless to say, ruined friendships.
— MSN Memories (@MSNmesenger) April 24, 2013
2. Curating your playlist so that everyone could see how COOL you were.
Guys. Jessie remembers purposefully playing Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” so that everyone could see.
Windows Movie Makers (the poor man’s iTunes) was directly linked to your MSN account, so what you were listening to appeared next to your name. And it could make or break you.
Cool songs included: Soulja Boy (Jesus…), Love in This Club by Usher, and Live Your Life by T.I. Not cool songs included anything by Nickleback or like… country music. Ew.
The worst was when you’d accidentally leave it playing, and a hymn or something would come on which you swear you never even downloaded. Fml.
3. Yelling at your mum to get off the phone.
Most of our adolescence was spent yelling at mum to get off the home phone so that we could pls use the Internet.
It involved watching AOL dial up for approximately four minutes, and it making weird screechy noises because you could actually FEEL how hard the Internet was trying to connect.
Ummm… yeah so we found the MSN Messenger sound. Thank us later.
4. Your relationship wasn’t official until they changed their name.
Just about every teenage relationship between the years of 2003 and 2008 rose and fell on MSN.
Boys would ask girls out with something sophisticated and irresistible like, “i lyk u. wanna c spiderman 3?” and she would reply, “um i think i just wanna b friends,” and he would say, “lol soz that was my friend who said that,” and then they’d never speak again.
But if your feelings happened to be reciprocated, things got serious real fast. Like this serious.
« ¤ » J.O.R.D.A.N. l(l)v3z.C.L.A.R.E.5 eva. « ¤ »
This is the sh*t we’re going to be showing our grand kids.
Inevitably, Jordan woke up one day and changed his mind, and expressed it by changing his name to, « ¤ » J.O.R.D.A.N. l(l)v3z.S.O.C.C.E.R « ¤ ».
There was no point in trying to work stuff out, his MSN name said everything you needed to know.
5. Signing in and out so the guy you liked would notice you.
This is the equivalent to our parents driving past their crushes house, or the 2017 equivalent to posting hot Instagram selfies so the person you like thinks, "Oh. I never noticed how beautiful she was. Thanks to this selfie, we will probably get married."
Signing in and out of MSN meant that your name would pop up on the bottom right hand of their screen and therefore they couldn't HELP but think about you. It's basic psychology.
If the person you liked signed in, your heart would start racing, your palms would get sweaty, and you'd wait at least 10 minutes to say "hi", because you couldn't have them know you'd been sitting there watching your computer screen for two and a half hours.
That one random person who was always online at 4am.
— MSN Memories (@MSNmesenger) April 27, 2013
6. People would actually print out MSN conversations and bring them to school.
Yeah, nah, what the f*ck was that all about? Some people's computers would automatically save their MSN conversations, and then when a fight would break out (at least twice a week) they would bring the MSN conversation to school as evidence.
We distinctly remember sitting across from a girl at school, who had a stapled together MSN conversation with highlighted sections. It was like being in court but far more serious.
Today, MSN is lost to history. And we are all better off for it.
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You can listen to the most recent episode of Mamamia Out Loud, here.