“So, have you had any marathon feeds yet?” my friend asked me, as she cradled my newborn daughter. I had no idea what she meant, but I nodded anyway – which was becoming my go-to reaction to any parenting questions. As a first-time mum, I was confused, excited and optimistic. Everything and nothing made sense, including my friend’s reference to ‘marathon’ and ‘cluster’ feeds.
A few days later, I learnt the true meaning of a ‘marathon’ feed when I breastfed my daughter for five hours straight, without even taking a toilet break.
I never thought I’d like breastfeeding. The very idea of it just seemed weird. I mean, a little thing, suckling at my nipples? Yuck. So, I was surprised to find that not only did I have a knack for breastfeeding, but I actually enjoyed it.
I couldn’t take all of the credit, though. To be good at breastfeeding, one needs to have a willing feeder, and my daughter wanted to breastfeed all the time. It seemed as though our breastfeeding sessions were getting longer and longer, and I wondered if it was normal. But I kept going, because my daughter had been born a few weeks early, and her weight was under average.
“Feed, feed, feed her,” the midwives urged me. So, I did.
On the night of the five-hour breastfeed, I was already feeling nervous. My husband had to go to a work-related dinner, and I was worried about being left alone with a one-month-old baby.
I had a plan: I would breastfeed Emmy, put her to sleep, eat my dinner and then hopefully get a nap before she woke for her next feed.
When my husband left for his dinner party, I was sitting on our bed, breastfeeding Emmy. He kissed me goodbye.
An hour into the breastfeed, I figured that Emmy was full, so I tried to pull her off my nipple. But she would suck even more voraciously, while lunging towards me. The message was clear: she was still feeding.
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We have an 8 day old who 'feeds' for between 5-10 hours every night from about 1am - I think a lot of that time is comfort feeding but it's brutal on my partner (she had an emergency caesarian at midnight followed by a bleed that required follow-up surgery the next day) - I'm taking her for between one to three 2-hour stretches every night but my partner is refusing to entertain a dummy and so I'm trying to soooth a screaming baby with what milk she has been able to express (usually about 60ml) and my little finger for a couple of hours around 10pm til midnight, 2am and sometimes again at 5am again so she can get some rest. The nurses kept telling us we're feeding wrong but it's not an issue during the day, fingers crossed for a breakthrough soon.
My first baby would feed for an hour and a half, sleep for half and hour, then want another feed. Because in the first week or so, they want to be fed every two hours, and that counts from the start on one feed, to the start of the next. After the first week of pretty much constant breastfeeding, with half-our breaks, I was crying and desperate in the midwife's office! Luckily, my body got better and making milk, and she got quicker at drinking. She would still want to comfort feed, which meant she threw up (quite an amazing amount!) about twice, before I stopped the comfort feeding. But there were times she was crying, and milk was wetting my clothes, but I could not feed her because it wasn't time for a feed, she'd just throw it up! Eventually, all settled down. I fed her till she was 1 and a half, and I was three months off having my next baby, so I weaned her. Then I fed my next baby till she was 2, and then I had just fallen pregnant! Then I fed the next baby till he was 2 and a half, and I weaned him about three months before I had my last baby. Now "baby" number 4 is getting close to 4 years old, and he does not want to stop having "mummy milk". When I fed the other babies, I would slowly drop feeds until it was just the bedtime-feed or the the I-wake-up-at-5-am-if-I-feed-we'll-all-get-more-sleep-feed. My youngest is toilet trained and happy to spend days without me, and will go to sleep at night without me, but there are times he still wants Mummy-milk. I don't want to get judging comments, please, but I don't want to force him to stop. I don't do it in public, and I am hoping he will stop asking for it (I never offer it) when he starts pre-school next year, as I really don't like the idea of forcing him to stop. So basically, with a few months off here and there, and a 9 month break in the middle, I've been breastfeeding for almost 11 years... and that journey is almost over! It's been tough at times, mastitis twice, bleeding nipples once or twice from blood-blisters, bites occasionally, leaking breasts onto clothes when I forgot pads... but many many happy memories of dear little munchkins feeding, snuggling, looking at me, smiling at me when breastfeeding (some milk dribbled out - funny!), one sneaky baby who curled her arm around over her face so I could not see if she was feeding or just sleeping... special moments. But I can also say here, that if I had not been able to or did not choose to breastfeed, I would have lots of lovely memories feeding my babies with bottles - I was bottle-fed and never breastfed, and I turned out just fine! My mother was told by the midwife that her daughter would not be able to bond with her if she did not breastfeed - how horrible of her! I love my mum dearly and I am so proud of her. So feed your baby however is best for you and your baby, and wishing you mums out there all the best!