"It's true, I favour my firstborn. Wait, let me explain."

My oldest son’s name is Philip. I named him before he was born. I knew I was having a boy. For the first four years of his life, it was just him and I.

He’s my favourite out of all my children, because he is the one who made me a mum.

A survey by the American Psychological Association (APA) has confirmed that parents often favour their first born child, sometimes even going so far as to spend extra time with them or to give them special treatment. I don’t take it that far, but I understand that it happens.

Read more: The secret confessional of sleep-deprived mums.

I know we aren’t meant to say things like this, but why not? I don’t love my other children any less. They are both special to me for different reasons. However, Philip who is now 11 going on 30 is so incredibly special to me. He and I have an incredible bond.

My relationship with Giovanni, 7, and Caterina, 6, is just different, not better or worse, just different.

I learned everything from Philip. I learned how to be a mum. I made all my mistakes on him. I was scared and uncertain. When all else failed, I’d just kiss him and hold him. Everything he did surprised me from the time he walked and then when he talked. We were at a petrol station and I’d just said, “Bye”, to the attendant. Philip, 14 months, said, “Bye”, like it was nothing, like he’d been talking all along. He was a late talker. It was excruciating. But in that moment I felt pure joy.

See, I can do this. See, I can be a mum.

Watch this adorable little first born go off at his mum for falling pregnant, again. Post continues after the video.

My husband and I only really wanted one child. He’d been married before and had two sons. Then Philip got older and started pre-school and we decided to have another. And then another.

But Philip will always be my first born, the one who made me a mum, the one who I feel closest to. He and I are a little team. As he grows and changes, I’m fascinated by his development because I’ve never experienced it before. By the time Giovanni and Caterina get older I will have some idea of what to expect. I feel like Philip teaches me as much as I teach him.


There’s something very special about having your first child be a son. I don’t have to explain this to mums who had a boy first and have experienced that mother and son bond. Just like my daughter has a special bond with her dad, I have a special bond with both of my boys. When he is all grown up, I know without a doubt that we will still be incredibly close.

I really hope I like the person he decides to spend the rest of his life with. Just saying.

I love all of my children equally, and they are all special to me for different reasons.

I'm not ashamed to admit that Philip is incredibly special to me as my first and reports have shown that many parents favour their first born. I remember my sister receiving special treatment in my family. She had a special chair and got the biggest serving of dinner. I don't take it that far but I know it still happens.

I feel a special bond with Giovanni, however it is different from my bond with Philip. Giovanni is special to me because I was able to enjoy him more. By the time he came along I knew what I was doing and was able to relax and take it all in. I remember him as a baby and I had less anxiety over the job I was doing as a parent. It was a special time, especially when I watched he and Philip interact with each other. They used to cuddle and stare at each other. They knew they were brothers.

Then, Caterina, well what can I say? She's my only daughter and that's why she's special. She has the same hair and eye colour as me and girls are just so different. She's such a basket case, so funny and emotional and affectionate.

I think most parents can say in all honesty that they do favour their first born, the one that made them into a family. It's just the way it is. It's just...magic.

Do you think it's unfair to favour your first born? Do you secretly have a favourite child?