A family have found themselves in quite a predicament as they have decided to fire their nanny – but don’t know how to let her go without ruining her life.
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According to the husband, the nanny had been caring for his son since he was three months old, and initially everything worked perfectly.
However, now their son is a bit older, the couple would prefer he had the chance to socialise with other children in a classroom or daycare setting, instead of only spending one-on-one time with the nanny.
Another motivator to ditch the nanny is her personal circumstances – several months ago, she split from her husband, which forced her to move to another town.
As a result, most of their son’s time with her is spent driving rather than playing. However, the nanny job is the woman’s only source of income – leading to the couple’s serious guilt.
The father wrote:
"In the last three months our nanny got divorced. It was a nasty divorce, her husband pretty much disappeared and left her with the children. She has never worked OUTSIDE of taking care of my child, her income is literally what we are paying her now. Her husband refuses to give her money and she tells us constantly how he is ruining her life. We feel horrible, she has children she cares for and needs to provide for and her husband is now a dead beat," he said.
"My son recently has resorted to screaming and crying when she picks him up in the morning and we aren't sure if he just loves us so much or if he is miserable being with her. When he comes home he is usually pretty happy and we have not seen any signs of neglect. A lot of her life changes are pointing us to put him in an educational daycare we have right down the road from our house. It costs almost the same that we are paying our nanny now, when we visited it, it was amazing and the children there were so happy.
"We are so torn because we are now this poor woman's only source of income. She uses that money to feed her children and we have a fairly good friendship/relationship with her. We don't know how to do this without hurting her feelings. Should we stay and keep her watching our child? Can someone please give us advice?"
Yep - it's a fairly awkward situation.
Luckily for the father, fellow Redditors gave him plenty of advice and encouragement, with gettin_errbody posting "Give her a month's notice. Tell her you love her and will give her great recommendations. Maybe even try to help her search for a new family. That's it. This is life." hinduboyleftme advised, "This is a tough spot to be in, but ultimately not only has her situation changed but also have your son's needs. The best thing you can do is tell her sooner- rather than later and let her know that you want to put him in a school setting now. I wouldn't even bring up the car thing unless you think that would impact her ability to be a good nanny in the future."
Gulp. We hope the nanny finds a new job soon...
What would you do if you were in this situation?