Happiness comes from within, that I have learned through the years. It takes healing, reflection, and hard work, but once you learn to love yourself, you reap the rewards.
Divorce. Such a painful action and hurtful word, filled with so much heartache, sadness, and grief. But yet, so many go through the process and endure the heart-wrenching emotions that follow.
It is a damning blow that literally takes our breath away and does its best to knock us down. One day you’re married and the next you’re not. Broken hearts, separate homes, custody arrangements, separate lives are all a shock to the system and we begin to function solely in survival mode. Giving up is not an option and some days it is all we can do to put one foot in front of the other.
I initiated my divorce so I carried a lot of shame and guilt for a year. For a year, it was eating me alive. But I realised I cannot and will not carry the brunt of the blame for the demise of our marriage. It takes two to make a marriage work, and for many years our relationship was one-sided. I had my faults and so did he, and we determined the underlying issues of our failed marriage. After coming to that realisation, I am okay with the decision. It doesn’t make things easier, but I have learned to accept and forgive so I can move forward.
Moving on, dating and finding love again:
Love. I never thought I would experience it again. My heart was ripped out after my divorce and I was an empty shell. My self-confidence had plummeted and I felt people looked at me with pity and judgment, as if I had this huge label taped to my back screaming, LOOK OVER HERE: NEWLY DIVORCED FAILURE.