I’m writing this on Father’s Day. My boys gave my ex a pair of sneakers and they both designed t-shirts for him. I used a coupon I had from DSW to buy the sneakers and I spent the last of my Amazon credit on buying white t-shirts. I literally spent my last cents to ensure they had nice gifts for him.
In return he is going to baseball game without the boys and informed me that I have the boys overnight tonight (I found this out yesterday). I have approximately $23.50 to survive the week. I have food to feed the boys at home, but not to give them lunch for camp tomorrow. My littlest one will be fine as he only really eats bagels and pasta and I have those, but my oldest is going through a growth spurt and I cannot feed him enough fresh fruit, tortillas, or raisin bread. I have no fresh fruit, I’m down to two tortillas and no raisin bread ($4 a loaf).
Last night I went out with a friend for her birthday dinner with a bunch of other mums from school, she knows my financial situation and was treating me. It got a bit awkward when it came time to pay the bill as everyone wanted to treat her, my part was $45 – she came to the rescue and got another mum to pay my part. It was frankly humiliating, but I’m used to that now. I also gladly accepted $40 from her on our ride home. Beggars can’t be choosers.
I can’t complain too much because I live in a lovely house in a beautiful neighbourhood (he pays the rent). I do get spousal support which he pays at the very last minute, and I work so I have health insurance. But the costs of leaving the family home (which I co-own), divorcing and enduring over a year of financial abuse has left me with crippling amounts of credit card debt. As soon as any money comes in it goes out, if I’m lucky I can pay off the interest payments each month. This month I had to pay for car insurance, so the credit cards will have to wait.
But here’s the kicker, we have plenty of money.