real life

"I can still be a feminist while I make my husband a sandwich and do the washing."

Earlier this week there was some controversy over a woman who asked sandwich advice from a Facebook group.

Because she was making said sandwich for her male partner she was immediately told she was doing the wrong thing. Hundreds, maybe even thousands of women turned up to police her behaviour and tell her that her husband should be making his own sandwiches.

It rankles every one of my senses.

What makes these commenters think it’s okay to tell her that her choice (to make interesting sandwiches) is wrong? There is not just one way to live a life, run a home or prepare food. Surely this comes down to choice?

I have just seen the same thing happing on another Facebook group where a woman vented about the owner of the Laundromat only to be met by a barrage of “why are you taking your husband’s shirts to the laundry?”.

LISTEN: Can you be a feminist and make your partner a sandwich? (post continues after audio…)

It’s odd to me. In relationships we do things for each other, we try and support each other, we try and make things good and easy. Or is that just my relationship – in which case I am very lucky.

Here’s a few things we would do well to remember.

I can make lunch for my husband and still be a liberated woman who knows that her place is not in the kitchen. I just happen to have a vagina AND like preparing food for people I love.

I can wear make up and play around with fashion and still believe women (and men) should not be judged on what they look like. Caring about what you wear does not eradicate all the other parts of you.

I can work at home and take off time to raise my child and still believe men and women should be paid the same amount for the work they do. Personally I think it’s the greatest privilege I have been granted to be at home with my child.

I can love the colour pink, I can decorate my home with flowers and be attracted to soft “feminine” palettes without having to explain myself or make excuses.

I can love listening to music that is sappy and soft and also loud and brash. I can love hip-hop and opera at the same time and still believe women should be respected. Even in song lyrics.

I can disagree with people who are also feminists, I can have different ideologies and beliefs to them and appreciate that they are still feminists and so am I.

I can be a feminist and do the washing and the ironing and not listen to other women policing what I do and how I should do it.

LISTEN: Sometimes a sandwich is just a sandwich. 

This post was originally published on ‘The Sharpest Pencil’ Facebook page and has been republished here with full permission.