When it comes to gleaning wisdom from Nicki Minaj, orgasms aren’t the first topic to spring to mind.
Information about the flying status of Starships, sure. Or the fact that anacondas don’t want anything without buns, perhaps (FYI Nicki, Sir Mix A Lot had that covered).
“I have a friend who’s never had an orgasm in her life. In her life! That hurts my heart. It’s cuckoo to me,” Minaj says.
“We always have orgasm interventions where we, like, show her how to do stuff. We’ll straddle each other, saying, ‘You gotta get on him like that and do it like this.’ She says she’s a pleaser. I’m a pleaser, but it’s fifty-fifty.”
And she has strong feelings when it comes to satisfaction.
“I demand that I climax. I think women should demand that.”
So while the internationally acclaimed artist is putting her
vagina foot down in the bedroom, should we be doing the same?
Next time we take home a dud one night stand or our partner isn’t particularly hitting the spot, should we be pausing proceedings and reading our rights?
The results of Cosmopolitan‘s most recent Female Orgasm Survey (yes that’s actually a thing) showed that only 57% of women usually have orgasms when they have sex with someone. Compare that to their partners, who are apparently orgasming 95% of the time.
The study– which surveyed more than 2,300 women aged 18 to 40– also found that while 78% of women believed their partners cared about their orgasm, 72% of women still experienced a time when their partner climaxed but made no attempt to help them finish.
According to Planned Parenthood statistics, as many as 1 in 3 women have trouble reaching orgasm when having sex. And as many as 80 percent of women have difficulty with orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone.
Considering these statistics, the easy answer to the question of whether women should demand orgasms would be yes. Or even an enthusiastic: Fuck yes.
But sexologist and relationship expert Dr Nikki Goldstein isn’t so sure.
“I don’t think it is realistic for everybody, first of all I don’t like the idea of ‘demanding’ because that puts a lot of pressure on our partner and it may not necessarily be our partner’s role to be delivering orgasms,” Goldstein says.