
by Alexa
I did a boudoir photography shoot shortly before becoming pregnant.
I lost 25 pounds to help control my blood pressure before pregnancy put its strain on my heart, and I hadn’t been at that weight since high school. I wanted a record of that body, before I shared it with a new little human. It felt so satisfying to take in all of my sexy lingerie; to tighten those cords of my corset. I had done it! I was smoking hot!
RELATED: “I struggled with my body. So I did a lingerie shoot.”
Yes, that is what went through my head, despite years of feminist thinking, of body positivity, and of trying to accept myself as is. I know intellectually that thin does not equal sexy, but this was a primal satisfaction that I couldn’t control. In spite of my best intentions, it wasn’t until I lost that weight that I felt sexy on that level.

That is the feeling I just can’t deal with when I think about letting out those cords again. My daughter is almost a year and a half old, and the ‘baby weight’ is now just ‘my weight.’ I do have ‘my’ body back, in the sense that this is the weight I spent most of my adult life being. That temporary, strangely-thin body never felt like mine anyway.
RELATED: Time to toss out that G-string. “Granny undies” are coming back, baby.
But my husband and I have indulged our social hermit tendencies long enough and we need to get back into the world. It’s time for play parties — gatherings of kinky folk involving BDSM scenes (involving bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, or sadism and masochism). Dress codes vary widely, but many kinksters use parties as an opportunity to show off our fineries, especially corsets and leather gear.