By NATALIA HAWK
The other day, I got accosted by a centipede. I was camping, and it was just hanging out on my tent, clearly blocking my way out. I freaked out. I’m so bad with creepy crawlies, and this is really unfortunate, because they LOVE me. I think it’s because they can sense fear – like dogs – and I have LOTS of fear. So they target me, and feed off my distress.
As far as creepy crawlies go, however, centipedes are definitely amongst my favourites. Compared to some of the other possibilities out there, I positively welcome centipedes on my tent. Here are seven of my least-favourite creepy crawlies – feel free to laugh at my expense and then share your stories.
Just as an FYI, you should know that this series of posts is sponsored by Bosisto’s Dust Mite Spray. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in their own words.
I was once driving home from babysitting at 2am on a school night (yeah, those parents liked to party hard). It was in the middle of summer, and so I rolled down the window of my car… only to see a giant, man-eating, zombie-apocalypse-level spider crawl his way straight into the car and disappear into the depths of the darkness.
I pulled the car over instantly, called my mum and told her that I was not driving any further that evening. Or possibly ever again. In fact, I was seriously considering setting my car on fire so that the spider would never be able to eat me alive. Luckily, mum came to collect me and save me from the spider. But it took me a long time to feel safe rolling a window down in my car again.
I don’t know anyone that likes spiders, and I don’t particularly want to know anyone who likes spiders. Of all the creepy crawlies, they’re the worst, because there is always the possibility of being poisoned by one. I have no tips for avoiding spiders except for maybe never getting in cars or, well, going anywhere where a spider might be, including your house, which isn’t entirely practical, so… maybe just move somewhere else, where the spiders aren’t very big. I hear they are particularly wimpy in the UK.
Disgusting but true fact: as a toddler, I once picked up a cockroach to nibble on it. That was the day I was disowned by my family encouraged to never, ever touch or even look at another cockroach, ever again. Needless to say, I do not like them nearly as much these days as I did back then.
3. Head lice
Head lice win a special kind of award for being not only disgusting but inconceivably inconvenient. Because they’re so contagious, head lice require every member of one’s family to be de-loused. Extensive piles of washing also have to be done in VERY HOT WATER to kill off the filthy little things.