If you’re a fast walker (also known as a power walker), there’s a good chance you already know it.
But if you want to have your suspicions confirmed, here are 25 tell tale signs you’re part of the club.
1. You are always walking 15 paces faster than your friends, partner or, um… children
*turns head* Oh hey guys, why are you three blocks away?
As a result of this, and the fact you don't enjoy holding conversations with your neck turned behind you, or resorting to dolly steps...
2. You've developed techniques to help your friends catch up to you
Like circling around and doubling back... before storming ahead again. Vicious cycle.
3. Shoes only last you four months because you're constantly destroying the soles of them
Oops. You're secretly hoping Normcore will catch on, because then you'll be able to wear runners 24/7.
4. You break into a sweat on hot days because you basically walk a race on your way to work
5. You believe there's a special place in hell for people who walk 4, or 5, or 6 abreast in public places
Unless there is ample room on the footpath for safe overtaking, this is just not okay. You hold the Sex and the City girls personally responsible for making this behaviour look fun and glamorous and socially acceptable.
6. You've perfected the passive-aggressive "*ahem* excuse me..." in order to pass slow walkers
Or its more aggressive cousin, the "EX-CUUUSE ME!"
7. People who suddenly stop or slow down in the middle of the footpath are your sworn enemies
Likewise, people who don't abide by the footpath rules. Slow walkers on the outside, power walkers in the middle. Please and thank you.
8. When you're stuck behind a big group with no way of overtaking, you find yourself indignantly marching on the spot
You've actually fantasised about shoving slow walkers out of the way. Tour groups, that means you.
9. In your desperation to overtake footpath sloths, you've been forced onto the road
And into the path of oncoming traffic. See? Slow walkers are DANGEROUS.
10. The mere thought of a street festival makes you anxious
Ditto any big public event sure to draw a huge crowd. An entire street/field/suburb choked with slow walkers? Pass.
11. You never, ever trust Google Maps
What, is this map written by snails or something? You can get anywhere on foot in half the time they estimate.
12. Complete strangers tell you to 'slow down, love'
Sure, great advice. I'll slow down just long enough to dump this coffee on your head, then continue on my way.
13. You don't understand people who catch the bus for 1 or 2 stops
Really? Don't they realise they could walk that distance quite easily?
14. Or those types who casually stroll across pedestrian crossings
This is a time to hustle!
15. Or people who walk on the wrong side of the footpath
Walk like you drive, people. It's not that hard, and you're in my way.
16. Although you love him/her, you get frustrated by that one friend who can't seem to walk and talk simultaneously
You don't take the invitation "Let's go for a walk!" lightly. This is not a leisurely 'meander', lady. We are WALKING.
17. Even walking a dog is a source of immense frustration
Yes, you're adorable, and yes, this is fun. But do you really have to stop and sniff every single blade of grass/pole/other dog's bum we pass?