By LUCY GRANSBURY
Fascinators are stupidly expensive.
There. I’ve said it.
I have decided that I am NOT spending $80+ on a ridiculous non-hat to wear for a total of eight hours out of the 8,760 hours in this year.
There are some obvious solutions, like a) don’t wear one, b) borrow one, c) take your first-world problems and shove them up your racehorse’s ass. But I did something way more fun, to reflect my feelings about stupid fascinators, and to show off my Macgyver skills*.
Alex Perry would slap me silly. “Buy a hat, don’t make it yourself… If you’ve made your fascinator from Spotlight and it’s some stuff hanging off a comb, it’s not right, it really isn’t. And if you think that we don’t know, we do know.” Blah blah blah whinge whinge put sunnies on head etc
You know what, Al Pal? Shut it. Throw me a hunj (that’s a $100 note, guys) or shut it. My fascinators are WAY more fun and practical.**
So, ladies. You don’t have to pay a shit-tonne of money for a bunch of stiff curly hessian. You can make your own fascinator in 19 minutes, even at the office.
FOR FREE. (Or, at the office’s expense… ahem.)
First, I took some inspiration from Bec Judd and a manilla folder.
Nothing says high fashion like butterflies made out of post-its and bulldog clips.Used all the office Post-its except one, on which I wrote ‘buy more Post-its’. #caring
What else is in the office? Ah. Tissues.
A friendly orchid. Actually, was holding it behind my back. Not convenient headwear. But either are most fascinators.
And if you happen to be at home, here is some I prepared in my living room. Apologies for the dodgy quality photos. The office had way better lighting. But let the authenticity and lack of photoshop wash over your eyeballs. Also… I’m not naked. Promise.