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Six unreal (but true) facts about your dog you didn't know.

Jessie Stephens

Executive Editor

September 27, 2016

Every time I look at my dog, just sitting there with his silly ears and big brown eyes, I just have so many questions.

“What are you thinking?”

“What did you even do today?”

“Do you feel guilty about going through my bag and eating my left over lunch?”

“Why do your feet smell like popcorn?”

“Do you…love me back, darling sweetheart?”

This list goes on.

Often, I actually ask him, and demand that he “use his words”.

Note: Thus far I have been unsuccessful but I am certainly not giving up hope.

This is my ~~boyfriend~~ dog Caesar.

I CAN'T. HE'S SO CUTE I WANT TO GO HOME JUST TO BE WITH HIM. Image supplied.

Given that Caesar is yet to answer my burning questions because he would rather bark at nothing/chase his tail/get into my bed when I'm not looking, I decided it was time to do my research.

1. Dogs do not actually feel guilt.

About a year ago I got home and my dog was waiting, head down, eyes avoiding mine, by the back door. He knows that when he does something bad he has to go outside. They are the rules.

So I knew Caesar had done some fu*ked up sh*t.

Lo and behold, he had eaten an entire chicken. And he KNEW that he shouldn't have. His eyes said "Yes, I ate the chicken, which I knew would make you mad. But I'd do it again #noregrets."

But according to the experts, it was not 'guilt' that Caesar was feeling.

The research suggests that although dogs feel a range of emotions, guilt and shame are not among them. Instead, they are likely responding to their owner's body language.

Jessie Stephens

Executive Editor

September 27, 2016

2. Dogs DO feel jealousy.

Whenever I bring darling Caesar to my parents' place to hang out with the dog I grew up with, Ted, Caesar gets very, very jealous.

If I am sitting with Teddy, giving him a big cuddle (more on this later) then Caesar literally encroaches on Ted and starts biting his fat. Ted feels body-shamed, and retreats to the corner and cries. Caesar will then cuddle up on my lap and attempt to lick my face. He is more manipulative than most psychopaths... and I love it.

Studies corroborate my theory. Dogs feel real jealousy towards other dogs that are occupying their owner's time. The same does not apply to inanimate objects, like a laptop or a book.

In conclusion - my dog cannot even deal with how much he loves me and can't bear the thought of me showing affection to other dogs. I KNEW IT.

"You're not going anywhere." Via Giphy.

3. Your dog doesn't like your friend because your friend sucks.

Okay, so I feel like I may have gone a but far in my interpretation of the science, but as we all know, people who don't like dogs are not the kind of people you want/need in your life.

A study published in Animal Cognition examined how well dogs can judge reliability.

Akiko Takaoka of Kyoto University concluded that "Dogs have more sophisticated social intelligence than we thought. This social intelligence evolved selectively in their long life history with humans."

Dogs can tell when someone is being misleading or dishonest. So if your dog doesn't like your friend/prospective partner, I'm not saying that they're definitely a bad person...but...

They are probably a bad person.

4. Dogs can fake sick.

Okay, to be clear, if your dog appears to be sick you should take them to the vet. There is a high chance they are actually sick.

However, if your dog is feeling lonely, for example, then they are smart enough to act unwell. They know that us as owners fuss over them when they're sick, and it's a way to ensure they get the attention they know they deserve.

THEY CAN EVEN FAKE COUGH. Oh my God, that is literally the funnest fact ever.

This is actually our dogs. Via Giphy.

5. Dogs hate it when we hug them.

Dammit.

According to the experts, hugging our dogs makes them stressed and anxious.

As primates, we think hugging is the perfect expression of love. Experts remind us that dogs don't have arms and therefore don't hug. (Note: I really must stop calling my dog's front two 'legs', 'arms'). So, rather than a sign of camaraderie, dogs interpret a hug as an act of dominance, hence why they often pull away.

Excuse me experts, but if dogs don't have arms then please explain this. Image via Giphy.

I would like to extend a formal apology to approximately 2,038 dogs. I was overwhelmed by love and couldn't help myself. But I will refrain in future.

"Please, make it stop." - Dog. Image via iStock.

6. We (sort of) speak the same language.

I KNEW IT.

When I say the word 'walk', 'ball' or 'park', Caesar's ears go up, he begins to smile (I am definitely imagining that part) and then he runs from one end of our apartment to the other in an expression of pure ecstasy.

Why? Well, because Caesar can speak English.

Most dogs understand between 100 - 500 words. But more so than words, dogs focus on our tone, facial expressions and body language.

7. Your dog really, truly, does love you back.

According to a number of studies, our dogs really do love us back.

Scientists observed the levels of oxytocin, otherwise known as the "love hormone", in the brains of dogs (and cats) and discovered that our animal friends are absolutely capable of feeling real love.

WOO HOOO.

As a side note, dogs feet smell like popcorn/corn chips because that is where they sweat. It's like the dog version of body odour.

Now that we know more about the inner workings of our canine companions, hopefully it will bring us even closer.

Do you have any fun facts about dogs? (Seriously...we want to know them).

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