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STREWTH.
We open on some birds having a gossip.
"WE COULDN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP."
The farmers are hanging out with their respective wives and listing all their pros and cons.
Farmer Alex says he feels like he can just be himself around Jess, that Sarah is fun and bubbly, and he's still attracted to Henrietta but sometimes she does a yell and that does him a scare.
Farmer Neil thinks Karissa is his perfect match, but Justine brings a contagious energy to the room (pre-COVID), and Megan is still his "challenge".
Farmer Nick reckons if he ends up with Liz life will be really easy, if he picks Naomi he'll probably end up a really good person, and if he chooses Emma he'll end up chasing her around a bunch of parties.
The farmers take their chosen wives on their final one-on-one dates.
Farmer Alex takes Jess to the "Cunnamulla Day Spa" which looks suspiciously like a tent in someone's backyard. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It turns out there's one employee at the day spa and his name starts with A and ends with Lex.
THIS HAS GOT TO BE AGAINST HEALTH REGULATIONS.
Farmer Nick takes Liz for a picnic near a water source of some kind (?). Liz says she thinks they have "fireworks", and Nick says the problem with fireworks is that they fizz out. Which seems unnecessarily negative but ok.
Farmer Harry takes 'tha chopper out" for a "roomantic" date with Stacey.
"BIT ROOOMANTIC."
Harry tells Stacey he "LIKES YA" and that he feels comfy around her.
Back at the farm, Alex is teaching his wives how to separate the cows from the bulls. He explains they need to make sure they don't get stuck behind the gate because a cow could... crush them.
Henrietta gets visibly upset and runs away because in 2020 you literally have to have your life threatened by rogue livestock in order to find a husband.
'There's gotta to be an easier option."
Farmer Harry takes Madison and Stacey to meet his family.
Harry's three sisters take Madison and Stacey away for some private chats. They tell him they think he has been "bedazzled" by Stacey and hasn't seen what Madison has to offer.
All the farmers and their wives gather for the last farewell dinner.
At Farmer Neil's, Megan pulls him away for a chat and tells him they're not on the same path and she wants to leave the farm tonight. She hugs her sister wives and disappears into the night.
Neil can't understand why anyone would want to leave the harem. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Over at Farmer Alex's, Henrietta is reading him a poem to get them back on their "love track".
At Farmer Harry's, Stacey has gone rogue. While he tries to give a speech about their final dinner together, she announces she's "not 'ere to muck around" and tucks into her lasagna. Then she refers to the process as "one ordeal after another".
Harry realises that his sisters might be... right and says dinner was "awkward as shit".
While Harry and Madison look on awkwardly, Stacey says she doesn't want any drama tonight while literally starting some drama.
"HERE'S YA DRAMA."
Farmer Alex says goodbye to sweet, innocent Sarah. She pops her hat on, bids her sister wives farewell, and disappears into the Cunnamulla night.
Farmer Harry takes Stacey for a chat and she tells him she's just "exhausted" from literally working as a free farmhand for the past month/competing with three other women to be his wife etc, etc.
Farmer Nick sends Emma home because he doesn't think he's good enough for her. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Somehow - against the odds - all the farmers are down to their final two.
UNTIL NEXT WEEK.
Catch up on the rest of our recaps here:
Mamamia recaps Farmer Wants A Wife Episode 1: One farmer makes it abundantly clear why he's single.
Mamamia recaps Farmer Wants A Wife Episode 2: One woman gets brutally friendzoned.
Mamamia recaps Farmer Wants A Wife Episode 3: A farmer's decision leaves two wives in tears.
Mamamia recaps Farmer Wants A Wife Episode 4: The wives just desperately want to leave.
Mamamia recaps Farmer Wants A Wife Episode 5: The wives are literally hooking up with the crew now.
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Feature image: Channel 7.
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