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How not to be offensive at fancy dress parties: An Official Guide.

Another day, another clueless and offensive fancy dress costume hits the news.

This time it was a couple of AFL players dressed up as convicted paedophile Rolf Harris and one of his young victims.

Because, you know, paedophilia is obviously hilarious:

Shocking? Yes. Offensive? Yes.

Unusual? Not even close.

It’s depressing to admit, but paedophilia costumes are just the tip of the inappropriate fancy dress iceberg. Celebrities turn up to parties in blackface. Every second person at a music festival wears traditional Native American headwear as FASHUN. Prince Harry actually dressed up as Hitler.

WHAT IS GOING PEOPLE?

Some people are clearly a little confused about what’s okay and what isn’t when it comes to fancy dress, so we’ve devised a little system for you.

All you have to do is apply these simple questions to the outfit you plan to wear.

Prince Harry: Did not ask himself Question 1.

1. Has the person you are dressing up as committed some kind of mass genocide?

Do not dress up as that person.

2. Has the person you are dressing up as committed a nonfictional violent and/or sexual crime against another human being in the last 100 years?

The dude from the Scream movies: Yes. Joseph Fritzl: Do not dress up as that person.

Jack the Ripper: Yes. Ivan Milat: Do not dress up as that person.

3. Has the person you are dressing up as been the victim of any sort of crime?

Holocaust survivor? Do not dress up as that person. A famous kidnapped/missing child? Do not dress up as that person. A murder victim? Do not dress up as that person.

4. Has the person you are dressing up as committed an act of terrorism which resulted in the deaths of many innocent people?

Do not dress up as that person.

No Julianne Hough. No.

5. Will you need to wear dark make-up to match the skin-tone of the person you are dressing up as?

Step away from the bronzer. Do not dress up as that person.

6. Are you dressing up as a “insert relevant culture here” guy/girl?

‘Mexican Guy’: Do not dress up as that person.

‘Geisha Girl’: Do not dress up as that person.

‘Black Gangsta Guy’: Do not dress up as that person.

‘Generic Native American Guy/Girl’: Do not dress up as that person.

7. Have you called and/or texted a friend to double-check if your costume is racist?

It’s racist. Do not dress up as that person.

8. Does this costume involve a disease/illness that you do not have?

Step away from the special effects make-up. Do not dress up as that person.

9. Does this costume involve a disability that you do not have?

A disability is not a novelty. Do not dress up as that person.

HAPPY COSTUMING!

Have you ever dressed inappropriately at a dress up party without realising it?   

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