rogue

The secret Facebook inbox you had no idea existed.

Ah, Facebook. The website connecting over one billion people worldwide. The social media platform with the slogan “Be connected. Be discovered. Be on Facebook.”

An acquaintance who you haven’t spoken to in seven and a half years is turning 22 today.

Facebook ensures you’re connected.

Someone you knew from high school posts a very awkward racist rant, littered with spelling and grammatical errors.

Facebook ensures you’re connected.

Your mother, who doesn’t quite understand what’s happening, shares everything that pops up on her feed.

Facebook ensures you’re connected.

Mark Zuckerberg wants to make sure we are always connected. Post continues after video… 

Video by Columbia Pictures

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say there’s such thing as being ‘too’ connected, and we probably surpassed it five years ago.

Except when being connected is OF CRITICAL IMPORTANCE.

Now – I swore to myself I would never type this sentence but – prepare to have your mind BLOWN.

You know how when you check your Facebook messages, there is a little tab up the top?

In my helpful diagram, you might be able to see a little thing called "Message requests."

Welcome to the Narnia of Facebook messenger. A whole world mysteriously hidden behind our regular Facebook.

You see, Facebook has heard our complaints (probably through reading our private FB messages) and decided that people of the world do not want to be inconvenienced by strangers messaging them.

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If this was never a serious issue for you then you're not alone...

Ahem, anyway, that folder is FULL of messages from strangers on the Internet. Allow me to demonstrate.

 In here! They're in here!

"So, Facebook has been protecting me from creeps on the Internet?" I hear you say.

Well, yes. I guess there is an element of that.

HOWEVER, there is a fundamental flaw in Facebook's grand plan to decide what we do and do not want to see.

I present what I shall term 'The Scenario Mark Zuckerberg Did Not Think Of':

You see, my dear friend misplaced his wallet while on holiday in Whistler.

"Where ever could it be!?" he wondered.

"Surely if someone found it, they have my name, and they'd contact me on Facebook or something."

Well, shit. 

Oh, but they did.

Zuckerberg indeed owes my friend  $300, a wallet that he really liked, a drivers license, bank cards, a few loyalty cards that had great sentimental value, and probably an expired condom.

After my friend delved further, he discovered that Zuckerberg also owes him a few job opportunities.

Apparently Facebook has now identified the LIFE RUINING flaw in this feature, and now you get notified when a random person of the Internet tries to contact you.

That is great news. But not as great as the knowledge that you have an entire inbox of messages just sitting there, waiting to be read...

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