Zayn Malik, your face was beautiful and now you've ruined it.

It may seem quaint in this day and age, but I have a firm rule regarding neck and face tattoos. It goes like this.

Tattoos on your face? No way. Not ever.

I was reminded of this life rule when I went online this morning and saw boy band member Zayn Malik had a face tattoo. No that’s not a printing mistake. The former One Direction member has a tattoo on the side of his face that says M.O.M, a reference no doubt to his solo album Mind of Mine.

And all I could think was why?!

Because no matter what you say, and no matter whether it a stereotype or an old fashioned prejudice, face tattoos suck.

poses in the press room at the 2014 American Music Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on November 23, 2014 in Los Angeles, California.
“All I could think was why?!” Zayn before his face tattoo. Image via Getty.

Recently when  I left work I spotted a guy chatting on his phone outside our building. It’s a pretty chi-chi area; a mix of people who look like they work for Facebook, some hipsters, lots of pushbikes and plenty of cool spectacles.

The guy on the phone was sporting ordinary casual clothes, a decent haircut and…a NECK and FACE TATTOO. My first thought? Criminal.

I know that’s probably not a polite, even if I didn’t say it out loud. It may not even be accurate. I know that not everyone with a neck or face tattoo is a criminal. Or a bikie. Or an ogre. And there are certainly words other than criminal that could be used to describe people with neck and face tattoos.

Brave? Experimental? Stupid. Out. Of. Work.

“Face Tattoos: Not ever. No. Way.” Zayn before he got his face tattoo. Image via Getty.

I also know in this day and age everyone from media moguls, businesswoman and probably even the prime minster has a tattoo somewhere. I know that tattoos are now more than just a picture inked painfully into your skin while you’re too pissed to remember your name. I know they are an expression of self, a way of showing the world who you are.

I know that people like to show them off, although I have also heard it’s rude to stare at people’s tattoos because they belong to THEM, NOT YOU, even if they are covering every spare inch of their arms, legs and neck.

I also know that getting a face tattoo probably reduces your chance of employment by about 99.999999 percent.

You can listen to Kate de Brito talk about all of this and more on Mamamia’s very own podcast, Mamamia OutLoud. Post continues after video… 

I get that people are making a statement about who they are and tattoos are their personal choice. And I get that its probably not reasonable that if you have a face tattoo you get pulled over by police at least once every day. But I still can’t help feeling society owes these people an intervention.

Shouldn’t someone just step in as they take their seat in the tattoo parlour and ask for that first teardrop under their eye and tell them firmly: Tattoos on your face? No way. Not ever?

Like I Would

A photo posted by Zayn Malik (@zayn) on Mar 11, 2016 at 2:35pm PST

That’s what someone probably should have done for this poor woman who headed off to the local beauty parlour and asked for some tattooed eyebrows and eyeliner – instead of a manicure or a scrub. I know she was probably expecting a far different result to the one she walked out with.And I get that there are great examples of cosmetic eyebrow tattoos. I really do. But that’s the thing. Could that ever possibly be worth the risk?

Not for me. I’m going to stick with my life rule: Face Tattoos: Not ever. No. Way.

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