Famous men’s magazine Esquire has a very important message that they would like to share with the women of the world:

The age at which you are still attractive to men has officially increased to 42.

Hooray! Right?

In the August issue, writer Tom Junod has written a piece titled ‘In praise of 42-year-old women’. In it, Junod reveals that, to his total surprise, he has found some women past 40 whom he wouldn’t mind having sex with if given the opportunity.

But only some women. And only 2 years past 40.

If you’re 43? Tom ain’t remotely interested.

The August cover of Esquire magazine.

Tom thinks this probably comes down to ‘a change in sexual fashion’, as once upon a time, the idea of sleeping with a 40+ women was apparently ‘tragic’: He says:

Sophia Vergara: Another acceptable 42-year-old woman.

But now? Tom thinks sex with an ‘old’ lady might be okay! He says that “42 is not what it used to be” (i.e. gross) because, like, Cameron Diaz!

He’s decided this based on eight 42-year-old women, who are all (shockingly) hot enough to still be considered sexually desirable to him personally. They are: Cameron Diaz (who appears on the cover of Esquire sans pants), Sophia Vergara, Leslie Mann, Amy Poehler, Carla Gugino, Christina Applegate, Jennifer Garner and Maya Rudolph.

Now, you might notice some similarities between the lucky ladies who made Tom’s cut. Not only are they all totally fuck-able despite their age, they’re also funny, which means they can apparently bring something to the table to make up for their unfortunate lack of youth. As Tom puts it:

“It is no accident that every woman mentioned here has comic as well as carnal appeal, and entices with the promise of lust with laughs.”

But make no mistake: Tom doesn’t want anyone forgetting the ‘carnal’ part of that sentence. If you want men to find you attractive at 42, you have to really work your body into something exceptional (as Ms. Diaz has helpfully demonstrated on the cover). Referring again to the 8 women whom he has deemed acceptable despite their age, Tom says:

Because nothing says ‘spectacle’ like a 42-year-old woman at yoga. She had better be self-deprecating to make up for the fact she isn’t the hottest person in the studio.

So there you have it.

Based on 8 women who have put in the work to keep their bodies acceptable, and who are so funny they have made million-dollar careers out of it, Esquire magazine have decided that, in some exceptional circumstances, the sexual use-by date for women can be raised to 42 years of age.

If you’re closing in on that age, better fit in as much sex as you can before the cut-off. If you’re still a few years off, better start working now to make sure you’re one of the lucky few. And if, heaven forbid, you’ve already passed it?

Well… Just close your legs and take up knitting.