By: Steve Horsman for The Good Men Project.
I thought I was all alone. I thought I was special.
But over the years my clients have proved me wrong. This happens nearly every day.
There is a very definite trend with marriages that end with the man left standing in shock and awe.
Didn’t see it coming.
How could she be so cold?
Wait! I can change!
We can fix this! Can’t we?
The alarming trend.
In almost every case where a woman has initiated divorce, I’ve discovered a common thread. And when I present this information to a group of divorced women, they sheepishly nod in agreement.
The alarming trend is that nearly all of them knew they would be getting divorced about 24 months before it happened. The funny thing is they didn’t really know this consciously until the 2-year clock had run out.
I asked one of them, “How did you know?”
She said, “My heart just told me so.”
She went on to explain about the time leading up to the start of the two-year warning clock. She said she was trying to communicate her feelings, her fears and her dreams.
She said she was feeling disappointed with their relationship, how they treated each other and the quality of their intimate life.
She said she felt more and more like she didn’t matter and wasn’t valued.
She wanted more connection, more love and more fun.
And she thought she was being as direct as possible in explaining it all to her husband. He just didn’t seem to hear it or want to hear it.