dating

Emojis are the new way to say sorry.

There’s no argument that can’t be fixed with an emoji. Arguments big, small, important, non-important can all be solved with those happy little faces. I call it ‘The Emoji Resolution’.

For example…

You leave the house angry because he didn’t check the mailbox… again. He sends you a “you have mail” emoji (nothing else, just the emoji, maybe a love heart if you’re lucky) and, all of a sudden, you are smiling.

You leave the house angry because you’ve spent the weekend arguing about when/if/how you want to have children. He texts you a family emoji, alongside a sheepish looking penguin, and, just like that, things don’t seem so bad.

Forget makeup sex. Hell, forget straight-up communication. Australians are resolving arguments with emojis. Yes, these little Japanese symbols are acting the saviour for marriages and relationships across the country.

Research into our use of emojis, conducted by Twitter to mark World Emoji Day yesterday, has found one-third of Australians think sending an emoji is the best way to make peace with a loved one after an argument.

And this is so true. 

My first reaction upon reading the statistic was to scoff. What is the world coming to when we apologise, and substitute productive, important discussion with funny face/bird/dog/rabbit symbols?

My scoff quickly died… I thought about how I sent a ‘smiling poo’ emoji to a girlfriend when I knew I’d been acting like a bit of a sh*t and she had called me out on it. Friendship fixed.

I thought about how I’d sent an angel emoji to my partner after an argument, with the intent to remind them that I am, most of the time, an actual angel. (They likely just laughed at the complete inaccuracy of that statement, but hey? At least they’re laughing.)

Allow me to present the art of the emoji apology.

Authoritative sources say the bon bon emoji (see below) is the most effective when apologising to someone you love.

The context is this:

“Hey, I’m sorry I’m late. You deserve [bon bon emoji x 2] for putting up with me.”

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Now, that might work. But, if I was the date in question (most likely waiting at the restaurant table trying to stop fuming smoke escaping my ears), I would not be convinced.

No. Apologising through emojis is all about the personal. Puppy dog eyes might cut it. But making that person laugh, by referencing an inside joke, or adding self-depreciating light-hardheartedness to a heated conversation, is where the beauty of the emoji apology lay.

For this reason, I'm thinking the above apology would be much more effective as something like this.

Translated to [hands up = me] [arm crossed = not good] [flushed = embarrassed] [kiss = please still love me, I still love you] [kiss = love from] [smiling poo = I'm your little sh*t] [wink kiss = cause I'm cheeky]

See? Problem solved, just like that.

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