How long has Emily been in Paris? We checked the facts and nothing adds up.

Watching the new season of Emily In Paris I was struck by one thing. No, it wasn't the fashion or the romance or even the trip to Rome.

It was the timeline.

The show has been running for four seasons and we've only celebrated one Christmas, one birthday for our titular character Emily Cooper (Lily Collins) and one very long, fake pregnancy. As the show was renewed for a fifth season this week, my thought bubble burst.

How damn long has Emily been in Paris? What kind of special visa is she on?

This led me to having a nervous breakdown a serious investigation. I lived through the first few years of Grey's Anatomy only to learn that all three seasons had taken place over the course of one year. All that nonsense and chaos in 12 calendar months? Wild.

As it turns out, the timeline of Emily In Paris is equally dumbfounding. She's only been in Paris for nine months at the start of Season 4, which makes the events of the series and Emily's drama all the more unhinged. And that's not even the worst of it.

Season 4: Part 2 is where the timeline gets especially cooked, and at this point the fabric of time is simply a suggestion to Netflix and the Emily In Paris team.

The only conclusion I can come to is that Emily's marketing prowess has transformed her into a time travelling influencer who has been entrusted with finding hot men across the globe with whom to have a confusing-yet-good time.

Let's get into it.

Emily Cooper moves to Paris.

The confusing timeline begins in Season 1, which seems like it happens over the course of several months but is actually — mathematically — only a few weeks.

Emily got her dream role at Savoir in Paris in September or October. Year unknown, because why would that matter? The reason she took the role was that her boss, Madeline (Kate Walsh), learned she was pregnant and could no longer leave the US to take her dream fashion role in France.

Which means the first season takes place over the course of a few weeks, how do we know this? Because the newspaper that covered Emily's infamous Stephane Rolland Haute Couture dress paint incident was dated October 18.

The incident in the second last episode is our only mark of time as the season comes to a close, meaning she has essentially only been living in Paris for a few weeks. I wouldn't even have friends at that point, but good for her for creating an unhinged storyline in such a short amount of time. Stay blessed!

For this queen, time is an illusion! Image: Netflix.

Emily celebrates her first birthday in Paris.

The second season picked up with the gals jet setting to Saint-Tropez. Shortly after, they celebrate her birthday in "late October."

Her 29th birthday was a classic Emily In Paris moment. A fashionable affair in a gorgeous setting, with everyone getting along, only for the moment to be destroyed by her love triangle with Gabriel (Lucas Bravo) and Camille (Camille Razat).

We then somehow skip the festive season following her birthday, and Season 2 takes us to March.

March Madness in Season 2.

Madeline is revealed to be six months pregnant around March and says she will give birth in June.

Also around this time, Emily starts dating the handsome Alfie (Lucien Laviscount) — who she spent a few months getting to know in her French language class. She never did learn French, but she did snag herself a man!

June (gloom? joy?) for Emily in Season 3.

The entirety of the third season is set in June, which makes sense given some episodes basically take place over the course of one day.

One good thing about Emily In Paris making it to June is that Madeline finally gives birth, after what felt like years to us.

Because it was.

Sitting pretty in June, Emily had only been in Paris for nine months by the final episode.

The third season took place in one month, but the fourth endured a number of inexplicable time jumps.

Has she been pregnant for seven years? No! Image: Netflix.

Season 4 covers a whole lot of ground.

While the previous season took place all in one month, Season 4 brought us on a longer journey. And thank God, because it did not make sense for Emily to be this deep in a love triangle (quadrangle?) after just a few months. But what about this show has ever made sense? It's a good time, and that's why we love it.

But I digress.

In Season 4, Emily attends a game at the French Open — which also takes place in June. So are we one year later? No! We're still in the same damn month.

The next episode began one week later, which is lowkey a big time jump in the world of Emily. Over the course of Part One, most episodes seemed to still take place in a summer setting.

But then the second part of the season premiered, and took us to the most wonderful time of the year: Christmas. Which raised a whole lot of questions. Chief among them, why did we skip Emily's 30th birthday in October? That feels weird. Almost like time isn't real in this fantastical show.

It's finally Christmas in Season 4.

Having skipped the festive period in the second season, they celebrated Christmas in full force in the fourth season.

There was snow, there were light up Christmas sweaters, and there was Camille: a woman who would, at this point if she were actually pregnant, be in her THIRD TRIMESTER.

While she knows she was never actually pregnant, literally no one at the Christmas celebrations knows. And nobody is questioning why she isn't showing, isn't having any symptoms, and is still skiing with aplomb down rickety mountains.

If we're living in a world where time is… time… this means Camille is seven months pregnant in the eyes of all her loved ones. That is SEVEN MONTHS of lying, which is going to work out very well I'm sure.

The Christmas episode threw a spanner in the works. Image: Netflix.

While the storylines have made for a confusing timeline, it seems miss Emily has been in Paris for at least one year and two months by the Christmas episode.

But then, our queen dumped Gabriel and promptly took herself to Rome for a new adventure. But… um… why is she wearing short shorts and a summery sweetheart neckline? Has winter suddenly transformed to summer? Did we skip a few months?

Even skipping a couple of weeks in this scenario would radically catapult Camille's fake pregnancy toward her due date. And no one on the show seems to care.

The final bow on this time-elusive present is this: Mindy (Ashley Park) is preparing for Eurovision. A global singing competition that takes place when? In May. So her preparations would likely be some time around, I don't know, February? March? A time when Camille would certainly have given birth if she were pregnant.

Which she is not. But, you know, that storyline progressing this far seems at odds with how developed the plot actually is. In my mind she was meant to be a few weeks along, not seven months, or 15 months.

'What is happening?' you may ask.

'I don't know!' I'll tell you. 'But I love it.'

Feature image: Netflix.