kids

"I had to strip him completely." Just 5 parents on the embarrassing place their kids pooped.

If you’re not sharing your kid’s poopventures on the internet, how do you even know you’re a parent?

Yep, there’s a lot of poo-related content out there, but it’s because it’s as relatable as it is…TMI. Many parents would agree hearing that another parent has suffered the same indignities they have in relation to a child’s bodily functions is somehow comforting. 

Which is why we have brought you the best weird-kid-poop stories, to make you feel less alone when things are going… crapBut don’t worry – we haven’t included the photos *gags*.

Parents of Toddlers: Translated. Post continues after video.

The science lab poo.

I’m a scientist, and one day, I had to check on an experiment while my two-year-old was with me. Of course, that’s the time he chose to do a number three. It went all over him, and all the way down into his boots.

I had to strip him completely, and throw everything in the biohazard bin. Thinking I was just popping in for a second, I had left the baby bag in the car… of course.

So, I had to wrap him in laboratory sterile mats to get him home. I would have taken a photo, but I was so angry – at my husband. I thought, “My husband doesn’t have to deal with this sort of sh*t at work!” – Erica

The helicopter poo.

We have this amazing helicopter at the local kids’ playground. It’s huge, and six or seven kids can sit inside it.

One day, my three-and-a-half year old kid was in there with his cousins and some others. Next thing we know, all these kids come running out, screaming that something smells.

Except my kid – who was huddled in the pilot’s seat, crying because his friends ran away.

Well, that’s what you get for crapping your pants in a closed environment. – Constance

Lawnmower parents’ are the new evolution of helicopter parents. Holly Wainwright and Andrew Daddo discuss, on our podcast for imperfect parents.

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The Oprah poo.

I had gone to see Oprah at the Opera House years ago, with my sister. My wonderful brother-in-law was looking after my two-year-old.

At the hotel, my BIL entered a lift to take my kid up to the room for a nap, and in that instant, he decided to do a massive number two (my baby, not my BIL). Everyone was gagging at the smell in the lift. They were not amused. – Nama

The public loo poo.

I had to rush to get my three-year-old to the parents’ room at the shops. We made it just in time, but he didn’t want to go on the little kids’ loo, he wanted to use the ‘mummy loo’. 

To avoid an accident, I yanked down his pants, snatched him up, and sat him on the big toilet… just in time.

If only I had seen that the lid was down. – Elly

The frequent flyer poo.

We were flying London to Dubai with three kids, all toilet-trained. We travel a lot for my husband’s work, so the family is used it, and there’s never an issue.

Except of course, this time my four-year-old – our youngest – suddenly had an upset tummy. We made it to the loo twice, but by the third round, she was exhausted and couldn’t get up fast enough. 

It went all over the seat… and I can’t even tell you what the cabin smelled like. No one said anything, and the airline was good about it, but it traumatised me for life! – Sylvia

Alright, spill. Where’s the funniest place your kid/your mate’s kid pooped? Tell us in the comments.

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