Em Rusciano has announced she’s taking some time off after a miscarriage with her baby ‘Ray’ at 13 weeks.
The radio host posted a message to her fans on her Facebook page on Saturday night.
“About 10 weeks ago I got the most wondrous surprise. I found out I was pregnant,” she began. “I was going to announce it this Monday as we’d hit 13 weeks, but instead I will be at home in the most exquisite pain I can possibly fathom.”
“Yesterday I found out that my little boy was lost to me.”
Rusciano explained she had watched the baby ‘kicking and waving’ on the ultrasound only one week earlier. She had heard his heartbeat and began to imagine the type of person he’d become.
“What colour hair he’d have, I wondered if he’d be serious like his Dad or ridiculous like his Mother, or perhaps a little bit of both,” she wrote.
“But now, all I have is that one grainy black and white image, and the rest I will have to imagine.”
The 38-year-old said they had named him ‘Ray’, at her husband Scott Barrow’s suggestion. She wrote that women who have been in the same position as her are “heroic” for continuing on.
“I’ve been in the same pair of pyjamas since yesterday, crying a seemingly endless supply of tears and can’t imagine ever leaving my bedroom again.”
Rusciano announced she will be taking some time “off radio, off performing, off social media, off life” while she deals with her loss.
“What’s happened with Ray feels big and raw and something I need to honour and be in the middle of,” she wrote. “I’m not going to avoid it or lock it away and power on as if nothing has happened, which I’m prone to doing.”