celebrity

"I wish we had more time with you." Em Rusciano has suffered a miscarriage.

Em Rusciano has announced she’s taking some time off after a miscarriage with her baby ‘Ray’ at 13 weeks.

The radio host posted a message to her fans on her Facebook page on Saturday night.

“About 10 weeks ago I got the most wondrous surprise. I found out I was pregnant,” she began. “I was going to announce it this Monday as we’d hit 13 weeks, but instead I will be at home in the most exquisite pain I can possibly fathom.”

“Yesterday I found out that my little boy was lost to me.”

Rusciano explained she had watched the baby ‘kicking and waving’ on the ultrasound only one week earlier. She had heard his heartbeat and began to imagine the type of person he’d become.

“What colour hair he’d have, I wondered if he’d be serious like his Dad or ridiculous like his Mother, or perhaps a little bit of both,” she wrote.

“But now, all I have is that one grainy black and white image, and the rest I will have to imagine.”

The 38-year-old said they had named him ‘Ray’, at her husband Scott Barrow’s suggestion. She wrote that women who have been in the same position as her are “heroic” for continuing on.

“I’ve been in the same pair of pyjamas since yesterday, crying a seemingly endless supply of tears and can’t imagine ever leaving my bedroom again.”

Rusciano announced she will be taking some time “off radio, off performing, off social media, off life” while she deals with her loss.

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“What’s happened with Ray feels big and raw and something I need to honour and be in the middle of,” she wrote. “I’m not going to avoid it or lock it away and power on as if nothing has happened, which I’m prone to doing.”

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“I have to get this right so that I can somehow feel whole again, or a version of that. I know that this will forever change me in small and big ways.”

Rusciano’s fan were quick to comment, showing their support and sharing their own stories of loss.

“Oh Em. This is heart wrenching,” one woman commented. “My little boy, Jackson, was stillborn at 32 weeks almost 5 years ago. I felt every word of yours in my heart. You absolutely hit the nail on the head when you said ‘I’m not sure I’m built to withstand this kind of heartbreak.'”

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“I’m sorry for your loss, I lost my first baby 13 years ago and I will never forget the day, on the due day we lit a candle and had a birthday cake, I also planted a rose bush so I could watch it grow,” added another.

“My heart breaks for you and your family. Like every woman before you and every woman after that suffers this terrible loss, you will discover a strength within you that you never knew existed.”

Em finished her post with a message to the baby she lost: “To our little Ray, you were already so loved by your Mum and Dad and your big sisters. Such an unexpected and welcome surprise for us, I wish we had more time with you, I truly do.”

We’re thinking of Em and her family during this difficult time.