sex

It took three years for Ellie Sedgwick to perfect her most explosive orgasm. Here's how she did it.

Ellie Sedgwick has seen lots and lots of vulvas. She's had plenty of sex. But discovering how to perfect the most explosive orgasm took time, patience and a lot of determination.

The founder of the movement Comfortable In My Skin, Ellie spoke with Mia Freedman on Mamamia's No Filter podcast about her relationship with her vulva. And she also spoke about the orgasm-achieving trick that sexologists taught her – and why she recommends all people should give it a go.

But a great starting point is of course the humble vibrator.

"I use my vibrator for everything. I've got endometriosis and polycystic ovaries, and so I have very painful periods. So when I'm feeling crap, I run it along everywhere where it hurts. And it just works for me," Ellie said. "I've spoken to doctors, and they're like, if it works for you, then there's nothing saying that you shouldn't do it. I also have haemorrhoids and I use it on that as well. I have one for front and back."

As someone who is "very single" and living on the road by herself at the moment, Ellie said she loves to masturbate regularly. 

For some people, they find that regularly using vibrators to achieve an orgasm on their own hinders them when having sex with another person. But for Ellie, she has experienced the complete opposite. In fact, she's now in the best place possible when it comes to achieving pleasure. 

Watch: How are women having sex? The juiciest results from the Mamamia Sex Survey. Post continues below.


Video via Mamamia.

"I'm so turned on in just everyday life. I find pleasure in absolutely everything," she said. "And I just think it's a lot easier to drop into an orgasm, or have a great sex life when you find pleasure in everything, including your vibrator. A lot of people do say it desensitises you."

For Ellie, she says she is quite 'monogamous' with her vibrator. 

"I do think I personally have a great connection with my vibrator. But I don't overuse it. I also love mirror work."

But what is mirror work you may ask? Given Ellie works with lots of sexologists, she has seen them often recommend clients do mirror work – a way for people to reconnect with their body. 

"It was almost something that I had learned to teach. And I think that's why I'm so good at making people feel comfortable is because I do it very much from a perspective of 'hey, this is what helped me'," she explained on No Filter.

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So for a good amount of time, Ellie would recommend to people in her workshops to give mirror work a go. 

It was about looking at themselves and their anatomy in the mirror, and getting to know their bodies in an intimate way. And three years ago, Ellie decided to practice what she preached – and it did wonders. 

"I was staying at this house in Tamarama [Sydney's eastern suburbs] with giant windows just looking over the ocean. I walked up to this mirror in the house and started doing mirror work and it slowly felt natural. And so they often say like 'dance when you watch yourself and touch yourself', and that's all part of mirror work."

Ellie said she wasn't intentionally trying to orgasm in this moment. But it ended up teaching her how to perfect her most explosive orgasm.

"I ended up having the most transformative, back-arching, couch-grabbing orgasm of my life," she said. "I was screaming. And it was because I had been doing the work. I've been doing the mirror work, I've been doing everything that all the coaches tell you to do. It just took me three years to get there, which is fine. I was so happy."

In that moment, Ellie felt free. 

It was a guttural feeling – something she had never experienced before. 

"I was so excited because usually I'm quite quiet in the bedroom, I'm a moaner, not a screamer. But this time, it was so large, and I did that to myself!"

Listen to Mia Freedman interview Ellie Sedgwick. Post continues after audio.

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Of course, mirror work isn't just exclusively about masturbation. In broader terms, it's about being comfortable in your skin.

"There's so many different ways of mirror work – for example, I brush my teeth naked and talk to myself using positive words. I'll touch my breasts while looking at myself in the mirror, or touch myself and smile."

Something that many women have likely experienced is feeling in a rut with their sex life or masturbation technique. After a while of doing the exact same thing over and over again, it can feel a little stale. And as Ellie explained on No Filter, this is something she has seen time and time again in the people she works with.

"There's so many great things you can do now. If you are in a relationship (or have a sex partner) I would recommend using XConfessions. It's a Tinder-style app, where you and your partner swipe right or left on different sex positions, kinks or things to try," Ellie said.

"We're living in this world where there are so many things available. It's time to celebrate pleasure."

Listen to the bonus episode of No Filter where Mia Freedman and Ellie Sedgwick talk about her nailing her orgasm technique. Exclusive to Mamamia subscribers, listen here.

For more No Filter with Mia Freedman, go to mamamia.com.au/podcasts/no-filter/.

To see Ellie's work on Comfortable In My Skin, go to comfortableinmyskin.com.au/.

Feature Image: Instagram @comfortableinmyskin_

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