celebrity

"Everyone was... matching." A recap of Ellie Goulding's 'full royal' wedding day.

Ellie Goulding went full royal wedding and I’ve never respected someone so much in my entire life.

You see, over the weekend, the ‘Love Me Like You Do’ and ‘Anything Could Happen’ singer got married in Yorkshire and yes Sarah Ferguson was there wearing a sensible dress and an owl inspired head piece.

sarah ferguson
"Mum did you have to wear your owl hat to El's wedding ffs."

Ellie famously performed at Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding in 2012, and was a guest at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding in May 2018.

If you look back, you can spot the precise moment Ellie decided she shan't be settling for anything less.

"Barricades, pls."
"Barricades, pls."
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beatrice
"Oi BEATRICE. What doing next August??"
"Too much?"
"Too much?"

She got so excited at Meghan and Harry's wedding that two months later she demanded Caspar Jopling propose so she too could have a royal wedding with castles and shit.

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The inspo for Ellie Goulding's wedding. Post continues below. 

Ellie knew there were some key ingredients.

1. Famous people. Specifically famous Americans who look out of place in any context where they have to wear pants.

katy perry
No one has ever looked less like themselves than Katy Perry in this photograph.

2. A long sleeved dress like her good friends Kate but also Meghan

3. A car that stops right in front of all the barricades so her fans can see

4. Dozens of faceless flower girls who all look like little ghosts

5. Princess Beatrice in a dress (and hat) that upsets people

If she could pull that off she was sure it would be the wedding of the year.

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Ellie began by using the same events company that organised the wedding receptions of all her royal friends because they likely had connections. It was through them that Ellie got the very best cathedral (York Minster) and a very big castle for her reception (Castle Howard). There would be no golf club reception for Ellie, with alternating meat and fish, and a few bottles of their cheapest white wine. She was marrying a man named Caspar goddamn Jopling. And no man named Caspar has ever celebrated his first dance on a sticky wooden floor covered in soft drink and remnants of mash potato while a DJ plays 'Horses' by Bryan Adams.

Before long, it was time for Ellie to pick out her dress. And she had two distinct sources of inspiration.

LIKE THESE BUT WITH MORE BLING.
LIKE THESE BUT WITH MORE BLING.

She demanded that Chloé hand design her wedding dress, please, which took them 640 hours. And her veil. Which took an additional 591 hours.

Ellie also wanted a fancy car, with windows just big enough that paparazzi could zoom in and take a photo of her demure face, eyes downcast, contemplating her future with Mr. Caspar.

They settled on a subtle blue car, as not to draw attention to themselves.

ellie goulding
Tasteful. Sleek. Subtle.
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ellie
Demure, pensive bride.

On Sunday, August 31, Ellie finally got to step out, in front of the barricades she set up at 11pm the night before, in her wedding dress.

The collar said "Kate Middleton" while the dress itself said "Meghan Markle" which was precisely the look she was going for.

Ellie decided to put her bridesmaids in all white dresses, similar to hers, but, like, not as nice. Obviously.

Her brief to the stylist was simple. "IMAGINE IF MY DRESS WAS UGLY," she yelled, "MAKE FIVE OF THEM".

Cool.

No comment. Image via Getty.
No comment. Image via Getty.
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The 32-year-old was also sure to wave at all the plebians standing behind her barricades which we can just tell was the highlight of her day.

ellie goulding
"Stay back, pls. There's barricades for a reason."

Standing together outside, the dresses screamed, "I'm in Gilead and these are my handmaids. We just had a bleaching incident lol."

Ellie also went with the middle part with... bits falling out, drawing inspiration from an unlikely place.

prince harry
"Weird question. Did you bring a bobby pin?
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The Wedding of Ellie Goulding & Caspar Jopling - Celebrity Sightings
I'M LIKE A BLONDE MEGHAN.

Luckily for Ellie, Princess Beatrice pulled through like always, with an emerald green number and a flower hat made of plastic but also rubber.

The Wedding of Ellie Goulding & Caspar Jopling - Celebrity Sightings
"My hat is made of rubber."

On Sunday, all of Ellie's dreams came true, and honestly, we've never been so inspired.

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