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We have a very compelling theory about the finger sucking incident on Married at First Sight.

To catch up on all the Married at First Sight 2019 recaps and gossip, check out the Twins recaps and visit our MAFS hub page.

We need to get to the bottom of a certain finger sucking incident, and whether or not it’s an appropriate thing to do when you most definitely have chicken pox.

If you haven’t watched a moment of Married at First Sight, then the sentence you just read was… a lot. Too much, perhaps.

You see, an adult man named Sam has chicken pox and – no – we don’t know where/how he got it.

For some reason he is allowed to interact with the other couples, touching them with his chicken pox hands and what not.

But last night, a storyline emerged about a finger sucking incident and we shan’t just be letting that go.

Elizabeth told the women during a night out that while her and Sam were hooking up, he put his thumb inside her mouth hole.

Listen to the latest episode of our very speculative Married at First Sight recap podcast. Post continues below…

They weren’t having sex. They weren’t trying out something ‘new’. They’d known each other for two weeks and decided it was some time to suck fingers.

What two consenting adults decide to do in their own time is none of my business (except when it’s on national television) but it would appear there was some confusion over whether either of them really wanted to be involved in the finger sucking.

Elizabeth found it a bit strange.

During a night out, Sam told the other men, “I got some juicy stuff for you…”

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“So Elizabeth is on me, she’s like piranhas attacking my face… She’s just kissing me and I’m not into it so I reach up my hand, the right hand and I go to push her away because I’m not into it and she just grabs my hand,” he says while simulating sucking his own fingers.

“…And I’m, like ET phoning home… then I’m like stop and then she gets my thumb and she’s like loving it and I’m just not turned on at all…”

Oh. Well, that’s just mean.

Here’s our theory about what happened.

The fight that broke out on last night’s episode of Married at First Sight. Post continues.

Video via Channel Nine

Sam has put his hand in Elizabeth’s face to stop her from kissing him, which was a weird thing to do.

Elizabeth has misinterpreted the hand gesture as ‘Suck my thumb’.

She has then sucked his thumb, intensely, in an act that no one a) wanted or b) enjoyed.

In terms of sexual experiences, that is the single worst outcome.

But.

Let us not forget that the next morning, Elizabeth disappeared for an entire week with a mystery illness.

A mystery illness called chicken pox contracted from Sam’s chicken pox thumb.

Now Sam is shaming her for sucking his thumb and we won’t be accepting any of that.

Suck thumbs. Don’t suck thumbs. But seriously don’t suck thumbs when there’s chicken pox involved. 

You can quote us on that.

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