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Once upon a time, Ed Sheeran drunkenly hit Justin Bieber with a golf club.

When a story starts with, ‘We were in this really, really filthy Toyko dive bar’, you can safely assume it’s not going to end well.

Ed Sheeran proved precisely that during his Carpool Karaoke interview on The Late, Late Show this week.

As program host James Cordon gripped the wheel with white knuckles, one of Britain’s top three favourite gingers recounted his wild night with fellow superstar singer Justin Bieber.

“No security or anything, he came to this really, really filthy dive bar and… Oh God,” the 26-year-old said, putting his face in his hands.

“We ended up at this golf course and he put this golf ball in his mouth, and said, ‘Go on, hit it out.’

“I was pretty hammered, and I was like, ‘Focus, focus, focus. You can’t hit him. You can’t hit him. You can’t hit him.'”

You can probably guess where this is going…

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Yep.

"I cracked him across the face," Sheeran said, sheepishly.

That beautiful, beautiful face.

Apparently the 23-year-old Canadian was "cool about it".

His fans, probably less so.

Justin Bieber. Image via Instagram.

Sheeran's spot on the cult late night segment of course included the obligatory jamming, not all of which was musical.

The singer also shoved 55 Maltesers into his gob at once, just to prove he could.

What can't that little Yorkshire guy do?

Which singer is your favourite Carpool Karaoke guest? Tell us in the comments below.

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