
Are you the kind to get angry over someone cutting you off in the traffic? Or does your blood boil when certain people in your household don’t do their chores?
You may want to throw yourself on the ground and throw a tantrum, like most three-year-olds do when Mum won’t buy them lollies at the supermarker, but that doesn’t really fly when you’re a full-grown adult.
Although these issues can be minor, an overreaction can sometimes have significant outcomes. In a recent Reddit thread, dozens of “calm people” shared their techniques on how they calm their anger, and there was plenty of good advice to be found.
1. Recognise anger isn’t helpful.
“You can motivate yourself to change without anger, simply by recognising an issue or dissatisfaction with something and changing what needs to be. The anger isn’t helping and it can be done without it.”
2. Hug it out.
“It may sound stupid, but I get a hug from someone I love.”
Watch: Meditation can be helpful. Try this routine from Paper Tiger. (Post continues after video.)
3. Think rational.
“If I find myself getting angry I try to stop it by using a short moment to think rationally about the current situation, which usually works.”
4. Snap… using a rubber band.
“I started wearing a rubber band on my wrist and snapping myself really hard when I started getting angry. It takes a while to get into the habit of doing it right away,” said one Redditor.
“Eventually, you become more aware of what’s making you lose your temper and why. It gets easier and easier to divert that negative attitude because you’re consciously thinking about the process rather than reacting instinctively.”
5. Fume all alone.
“Take a breath, then go fume on my own for a while. I try to word the reasons I’m absolutely in the right in my head, and if I don’t end up thinking ‘Wait, I actually kind of deserved that. They were right’ or something along those lines, I know that at some point I’ll inevitably reach the ‘This is stupid. Why am I wasting my time on this?’ stage.”
Top Comments
Great ideas. I admit that I used to have a dreadful temper until I was in my early 40s. I had been slowly working on improving my control, but after getting bullied I really tried to get it under control. In addition to the ideas suggested, i give myself permission to take as much time as I need for a considered, calm response. I'm still not perfect, but I very rarely feel angry nowadays. Sometimes I feel mildly frustrated or irritated, but not enraged.
PS I also take the time to identify the exact emotions I'm feeling. I aim for 3 with 1 from each category of angry, scared, or sad. This cognitive exercise reduces the blood flow from the emotional parts of the brain.
So I've got serious road rage. Not many of those tricks would work for me. I get so frustrated when people so stupid things (cut me off, pull out in front of me, no indicator, merge lanes into me etc) because they are driving a killing machine! They can literally end my life if they hit me and they don't take it seriously enough.