18 people share the trick they use to calm their anger.


Are you the kind to get angry over someone cutting you off in the traffic? Or does your blood boil when certain people in your household don’t do their chores?

You may want to throw yourself on the ground and throw a tantrum, like most three-year-olds do when Mum won’t buy them lollies at the supermarker, but that doesn’t really fly when you’re a full-grown adult.

Although these issues can be minor, an overreaction can sometimes have significant outcomes. In a recent Reddit thread, dozens of “calm people” shared their techniques on how they calm their anger, and there was plenty of good advice to be found.

1. Recognise anger isn’t helpful.

“You can motivate yourself to change without anger, simply by recognising an issue or dissatisfaction with something and changing what needs to be. The anger isn’t helping and it can be done without it.”

2. Hug it out.

“It may sound stupid, but I get a hug from someone I love.”

Watch: Meditation can be helpful. Try this routine from Paper Tiger. (Post continues after video.)


3. Think rational.

“If I find myself getting angry I try to stop it by using a short moment to think rationally about the current situation, which usually works.”

4. Snap… using a rubber band.

“I started wearing a rubber band on my wrist and snapping myself really hard when I started getting angry. It takes a while to get into the habit of doing it right away,” said one Redditor.

“Eventually, you become more aware of what’s making you lose your temper and why. It gets easier and easier to divert that negative attitude because you’re consciously thinking about the process rather than reacting instinctively.”

5. Fume all alone.

“Take a breath, then go fume on my own for a while. I try to word the reasons I’m absolutely in the right in my head, and if I don’t end up thinking ‘Wait, I actually kind of deserved that. They were right’ or something along those lines, I know that at some point I’ll inevitably reach the ‘This is stupid. Why am I wasting my time on this?’ stage.”


Breathe. Image: iStock

 6. Weigh it up.

"I make sure I am paying attention to the potential outcomes of what I may say or do in response to another's actions. If someone yells at me, is it going to deescalate the situation if I yell back?"

7. Sweat it out.

"Sublimate it through exercise."

8. Music.

"Walking away from whatever is annoying me and putting on some good music." (Post continues after gallery.)


 9. Is it important?

"I try to think 'This won't be important tomorrow, so it isn't important now'."

10. Imagine you're being watched.

"I try to pretend my HR director / the Judge deciding my sentence for some unknown crime is in the room, and they are watching."


11. Smile through the frustration.

"I smile. Just the biggest smile plastered right on my face."

Smiling like this probably won't help, though. Image: Comedy Central

 12. Tap your wrists.

"Tapping my wrists together (the undersides)."

13. Vent.

"Having someone you can vent everything to."

14. Breathe.

"I take a deep breath, shut up, and just concentrate on regulating my breathing. Works like a charm when minor things piss you off."

Watch: Four signs you might want to consider seeing a psychologist. (Post continues after video.)


15. Be considerate.

"As someone who works in hospitality, I have to deal with unnerving situations on the daily. The best thing for me is reminding myself that whoever I am talking with, as irate and rude as they may be, are people dealing with their own situations," wrote one Redditor.

"Once you realise that, it makes remaining calm a lot easier. It actually makes me more sympathetic towards them, because you never know what they are dealing with in their personal lives."

16. Just walk away.

"I used to have a horrible temper. Then, I decided to take a walk every time I got mad. It helped snuff it out."

17. Grounding techniques.

"The things I use to manage that anger without resorting to those things are grounding techniques," wrote one Redditor.

"Things like thinking about five things I can see, four things I can feel, three things I can hear, two things I can smell, one thing I can taste, or, in an emergency, holding an ice cube until it melts. The ice cube trick really works for me."

Ice cubes - surprisingly useful things. Image: iStock

 18. Be honest with yourself - and others.

"Letting yourself recognise that you are upset, why you are upset, and actively deciding how to make yourself feel better.

"Being honest with someone and telling them your head isn't being kind to itself tends to make them treat you more gently, so there's less need to react angry at them."

Featured image: iStock

What is your best tip for managing anger?