What's the stupidest fight you've ever had with your partner?

Everyone will experience a moment mid-fight with their significant other where they stop to look at each other and wonder…

“What in the heck are we even fighting about?”

YOU ARE WRONG. Image: iStock.

It's common, and judging by a Reddit thread opened by RobotSnack, you're certainly not alone. These brave (and humble) men and women have admitted to some pretty clueless arguments. And we're here to document the best of the bunch.

  • "Congratulations on getting your new job!" "STOP CONGRATULATING ME." - ApricotPickles
  • "I was wrestling with a girlfriend and she tried to poke me in the arsehole with her finger. I told her I would have her arrested if she did it, just so she would be in the newspaper police blotter. Later that night she went to bed before me. The neighbors had the cops called on them for something and there were a couple cruisers out front with flashing lights. I stepped outside for a cigarette and to watch the drama. Not much happened so I went to bed.
    The next morning my gf told me we were done and I needed to move out. When I asked why, she insisted that I called the police about the whole finger in the butt hole incident. I couldn't convince her otherwise." - ohyerhere
  • "My girlfriend yelled at me so I wouldn't miss a parking space, then I got mad and yelled at her for yelling at me. Then she got mad because I yelled at her." - FoxyGrampa
  • "On a road trip my ex sings, "and the hills are alive with the sound of ..." And then looks to me to continue. I have no idea what she is signing (it's from the Sound of Music; apparently "the hills are alive with the sound of music" is what I was supposed to say). Instead I see some cows as we're driving, so that's what I say, "the hills are alive with the sound of cows". Ex flips her shit because somehow she thinks I'm saying she sounds like a cow." - anonnEms
  • "My crazy ex girlfriend and I had an argument because she genuinely thought she was going to win the X-factor, and she couldn't even sing." - Muthafunkiller
  • "I drunkenly put a bunch of pillows and blankets in the bed of my truck and wanted to sleep in it with her. She said no. I got pissed at her for not wanting to sleep in my "nest". I remember screaming at her "I made you a fucking nest!"... It ended up pouring that night, too. My buddies still give me sh*t for that one. Embarrassing." - EMAWGooner
  • "When she sent me very angrily and explicitly worded text messages after I was tagged in a photo with a young blonde woman. She lost her shit straight away claiming I was cheating on her, she hates me, etc, etc. Now here comes the funny part, the blonde woman was my niece and we were at my nephew's wedding. Didn't even get an apology." - GiveMeYourUpvotesPlz
  • "An ex gf ended up furious at me because my cousin got a present from my mum but she didn't. It was my cousins birthday, they didn't share a birthday, and she hadn't even met my mum." - lavalampmaster
  • "We were wrestling in bed one night and she decided it would be a good idea to do a full power kick in the pitch black night. Sure enough, she nailed me between the eyes. I laid back in bed and said "that was the f*cking stupidest thing you have ever done", she ended up crying and leaving the room as I laid there in pain. I fell asleep, she came to check on me to make sure I was alive. She watched an episode 1000 ways to die where someone head butted someone and died from it, so she thought she may have killed me."
  • "My wife and I have an ongoing passive-agressive battle about how the diswasher should be loaded. How hard is it to nest the cereal bowls on the top rack anyway?" - Mackin-N-Cheese
  • "We were laying on the grass, looking up at the stars. She turns to me and asks "Am I the most beautiful woman in the the world?" I say "Of course! Goes without saying." She then pushes her luck after looking at the sky for a bit and asks "Am I the most beautiful woman in the universe?" I decided to tease a bit and say "Well, that is a big universe out there." She cried and cried. It was, in her words, the cruelest thing I'd ever said." - theboyd1986
  • "A girl I dated at one point was lactose intolerant. She would bite the bullet and still eat things like pizza. After the two of us killed a pizza, she starts feeling sick and says she doesn't understand why. Me: "Maybe it's all that pizza you just ate?" Her: "Are you calling me fat?" Me: "I'm calling you lactose intolerant..." Her: "F*ck you, you are calling me fat!" She didn't talk to me for three days after that, and we lived together." - beardfight
  • "I got upset with my ex when she wanted to keep a scoresheet of our arguments and fights. I not so kindly explained that nobody would win and everyone would lose doing that. Oh and she has a masters in psychology and is giving advice to people like this." - j-sap
  • "That people from Rome are Italian and not Romanian. I blame the schools personally." - BuckieThistle
  • "How to pronounce Chupa Chup. It's Chew-pa-chewp apparently. But that's a position I violently debated."
  • "Over an electric kettle his mum brought for us. I wanted to keep our stove top one. He sided with his mum. War."