In nine weeks I will be gearing up to walk down the aisle to marry my boyfriend of six and a half years. Marriage comes with several confronting circumstances, but there has been one that I didn’t see coming.
You might think I’m talking about the hundreds of forms you have to complete to change your name, or the fact you have committed to spending the rest of your life with one person, but in comparison those things seem easy.
I’m talking about the age-old question that people think is fine to ask as soon as you tie the knot. “When are you going to have kids?”
Now some people might think it’s a harmless question and some also think that marriage means kids but I’m here to argue against that. In doing so I need to point out the elephant in the room. Infertility.
Mamamia Out Loud discuss how to answer that dreaded question.
It’s growing at an alarming rate. I discuss it with my friends, I discuss it with my mum, I discuss it with my fiancé.
Is it the fact that women want careers before they settle down? Is it what we eat? Is it the lack of exercise? Is it the binge drinking when we are younger? I don’t know the answers.
What I do know however is that infertility is becoming more common and we need a bigger platform to discuss it.
Eight years ago I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, I have had six laparoscopic surgeries to treat the pain and drill my ovaries. I will tell you, there is nothing that can explain how you feel when you are told at the prime of your child bearing years you might not be able to ever conceive.
I will never forget each individual surgery, but that first one was a confronting experience.
Being wheeled in to a room full of complete strangers with nothing but a white and grey checked hospital gown on to keep you covered, they slide you on to a cold hard theatre table with stirrups on the end and all that runs through your head is the fact that all of these people are about to see the most private part about you.
You know they are all professionals, you know they are there to help you, but in that moment you feel out of control, undignified, lost, scared, hopeful, unsure.