How Donald Trump's meeting with Pope Francis definitely went down.

The US President Donald Trump is currently meeting with Pope Francis at the Vatican.

Twitter is in a meltdown. People are predicting the apocalypse. We have a million questions about the meeting’s agenda:

Will Trump spontaneously burst into flames?

Does Pope Francis speak locker room talk?

Will Trump tell the leader of the Roman Catholic Church about his two (or is it three now?) divorces and the way Melania keeps swinging her hand away from his attempts to hold it? Man-to-man, heart-to-heart.

Will Trump try to steal the papal ferula?

Will they compare gold collections?

My bet is Trump will lament how Michelangelo would have made a worthy celebrity apprentice…

He will also ask for the phone number of the guy who built the Vatican’s wall.

Please Explain: Trump, Comey, the FBI and Russia. Post continues below.

Pope Francis might talk about the merits of loving thy neighbour… Trump will explain he prefers to “get even with people“.

Trump will have done his research before meeting Pope Francis. This research will have involved watching The Da Vinci Code on the plane ride over. He will ask the whereabouts of Tom Hanks on at least three occasions.


Will Pope Francis compliment Trump on his hair and sun-kissed complexion?

Trump will definitely speak the Lord’s name in vain.

At the end, Pope Francis will pray for a very, very long time.