politics

10 times Donald Trump has shown nothing but the utmost respect for women.

Disclaimer: This post is satirical. 

Over the past 48 hours, Donald Trump has come under fire once more, this time for referring to MSNBC host Mika Brzezinski as “low I.Q. crazy Mika” and saying that when he saw her over the Christmas-New Year period she was “bleeding badly from a face-lift”.

And sure, from the outside, it may look like yet another attack on a woman’s credibility by taking shots at her mental health and physical appearance, but look a bit deeper and you’ll see that that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Here are ten times the 45th President of the United States proved that he is all about girl (and woman) power.

donald trump sexist comments
Who loves women? This guy. Source: Getty.

1. When he helped an employee lose weight.

Everyone knows that if you're desperately trying to lose weight, the easiest way to reach that desired dress size is through a man reminding you of just how bad you look, a service Donald Trump kindly offered his former employee Louise Sunshine throughout the 1970s and 80s.

According to Sunshine, Trump kept a picture of her at her heaviest weight inside his desk and whenever she did something he didn't approve of he would pull it out as "a reminder" that she "wasn't perfect."

Three decades on, Sunshine says she still thinks of that picture when she gains weight, which means his aversion therapy clearly worked, right? Right?

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donald trump sexist comments
Guh, this guy. Source: Getty.

2. When he clearly communicated his wants and needs with his second wife, Marla.

As every couple can attest, communicating your hopes, dreams and aspirations for the future with the person you like can be hard work, but thankfully, it's not a problem Donald Trump has ever had.

Speaking to ABC News in 1994 while he was still married to his second wife, Marla Maples, Trump said, “I have days where, if I come home — and I don't want to sound too much like a chauvinist - but when I come home and dinner's not ready, I go through the roof.”

To boot, he also made his thoughts about wives in the workplace clear, saying, “I think that putting a wife to work is a very dangerous thing.”

At least you know where you stand, am I right, ladies?

donald trump sexist comments
Marla Maples and Tiffany Trump. Source: Getty.
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3. When he shared his hopes and dreams for his daughter with the world.

Born in 1993, Donald Trump had high hopes for his fourth child and second daughter, Tiffany, and like all proud fathers, he wasted no time in telling the world what they were.

"She's a really beautiful baby," Trump told The Daily Show proudly in 1994, sharing that even though she was still an infant, he could tell "she's got Marla's legs."

Forgetting about trifling things like good health, intelligence, kindness and career prospects, Trump added that sadly, as a newborn it was still too early to know if his beloved child would be lucky enough to inherit her mother's greatest trait, her boob size, "but time will tell."

All women should be so lucky to have dads that care so much.

Listen: Mia Freedman and Amelia Lester discuss all things Trump on Tell Me It's Going to be OK. Post continues... 

4. When he didn't forget about Ivanka when handing out compliments.

As Donald Trump well knows, two women cannot be friends. And neither can sisters. That is, of course, unless the same amount of love and attention is showered on them both equally, which is exactly what the real estate mogul did when, after years of talking about Tiffany, he told the world that his eldest daughter Ivanka had "the best body" and even admitted that if they weren't related, "perhaps I’d be dating her.”

Showing your respect through sexual come-ons instead of fighting for equal pay and space in the boardroom? Now that's respect in action.

5. When he worked tirelessly to create a concise and easy-to-understand list of women he'd like to have sex with.

Knowing whether a guy is into you or not can be one of the greatest struggles a woman will face in her lifetime. To prove he understood that and respected that our time could be better spent getting manicures and cooking roasts, The Donald decided to help the sisterhood out by letting us know which women he'd be interested and willing to have sex with.

In the number one spot was his then girlfriend and now third wife, Melania, followed closely by his first wife, Ivana. Actresses Michelle Pfeiffer, Cameron Diaz, Julia Roberts and Gwyneth Paltrow also featured on the list.

Interestingly, Princess Diana was ranked third on Trump's list, despite the fact she'd been dead for three years when he shared the list with Howard Stern in 2000. I guess he's just a kooky guy like that, you know?

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6. When he made it clear that he respected the power that came with his position of authority.

Every now and then there are men in high-profile, high-power positions that don't fully respect women. They seem them as sexual props and beings who belong in either the kitchen or bedroom and nowhere else. But not Donald Trump, ladies and gentleman. No, no, here is a man who just gets it. 

And look, there are literally hundreds of examples I could use to drive this point home, but in the interest of speed, let's go with his candid chat Trump had with Billy Bush in 2005, during which he explained what you can do (grab a woman by "the pussy") and what you can't (talk about such things outside the confines of a bus).

Thank you for sharing your sage knowledge and wisdom, Trump. Really, thank you.

donald trump ivanka and eric
Trump loves women so much, sometimes he even lets them stand next to him. Source: Getty.

7. When he said women should be punished for having an abortion.

Okay, okay, this one is a little more controversial, sure. But have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, Trump knows more than women on subjects like reproductive rights and family planning? After all, he is a conservative male over the age of 50 with a pathological scepticism towards science and fact, so it's still just a hunch, but when Trump told MSNBC that "there has to be some form of punishment" for women who have abortions, I just assumed he understands things at a deeper level than I ever could.

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8. When he held Fox News accountable for their actions.

A sexist man would shy away from talk of menstruation and a woman's ovulation, but not the defender of equal rights, Donald Trump. He's all about putting cards on the table, which is exactly what he did to help out his good friend Megyn Kelly when the world misunderstood her intention in questioning Trump during the 2016 presidential campaign.

"You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever," Trump told CNN following their confrontation. In other words, the reason she persistently questioned him wasn't that she was doing her job, but because she was probably on her period. Thank you, Donald, for saying that which some of us cannot say.

donald trump sexist comments
Source: Getty.

9. When he pointed out everything that was wrong with D-grade actress and opinionated human, Meryl Streep.

Don't be fooled by Hollywood accolades and a well-respected career, people. Meryl Streep ain't all that and the beacon of honesty and truth that is Donald Trump just wants to let us all know.

That's why he called her the "most over-rated actresses in Hollywood" in 2017.

Just ask him, he'll tell you!

10. When he married Melania Knauss.

After two failed matrimonies, no one would blame Donald Trump for calling a day on the whole marriage thing. But no, Donald Trump respects women, damn it, so much so that he married not one, but three. Because nothing makes a woman empowered quite like having a husband, don't you know?