Rebecca Judd’s midwife weighs in on the baby sleep debate.

Yes. There’s only one way to successfully get your baby to sleep. It’s called controlled crying.

And everyone has a breakdown over it, thinking they are going to cause their child long term harm but believe me, a child waking up 3-7 times a night will do more harm to your parenting and the child than controlled crying.

There have been no published studies to show any evidence that there is any physical or psychological harm to the child if controlled crying is practiced. More to the point, what is the effect on long-term sleep deprivation to the baby and parents?

So for a start, let’s call it something else, passive settling. There that sounds better and we don’t feel like we are standing over our child “controlling him” while he is “crying his eyes out”. Babies need to learn a skill before they can accomplish it. So they need to learn to go back to sleep if they are waking constantly over night.

I have successfully taught ‘passive settling’ for over 33-years and in fact did it with my own son when he was 8-months-old, he was waking every few hours after a bout of gastro.

http://ivillageau.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/files/2015-03-25_16-29-23.jpg Rebecca Judd and her daughter Billie.

The aim of passive settling is that the baby goes back to sleep by himself but for that to happen you must follow a strict process. Over the years many people have told me they have tried ‘controlled crying’ many times and it never works, I say if it hasn’t worked, this is because it wasn’t done properly.

Babies change their sleep patterns for a few reasons. It may be following illness, after a holiday, teething or the use of a dummy to settle the baby. A baby that once slept well, begins waking like a newborn.

So what is passive settling? It is a way of allowing the baby to go to sleep, having the parent check and reassure the baby at intervals that increase in time until the baby goes to sleep himself.

Cath's rules for passive settling: 

The baby MUST be;

The method:

Depending on the baby’s age if the baby goes to bed at 6pm and has slept through I would definitely feed the baby if he wakes at 4 or 5 o’clock.  Then he will go back to sleep for another few hours.

Passive settling really works and you need to give it a go if you have a child that is waking constantly overnight. Constant patting and shushing of a baby in a cot only distresses both the baby and the mother and in my experience doesn’t work. The intervals between going into the baby can seem long but you need to be prepared. You need to have your partner support you, if you stop the process, feed the baby and “break the rules” you will need to start again. Thus once you start this technique you need to be strong and continue the whole process until the baby is asleep

The next day you need to continue for the daytime sleeps too. At sleep time put the baby down into the cot and start the process again leaving the baby cry for two minutes, four minutes, six minutes etcetera. You will however find very quickly the babies get the message and they learn how to go to sleep.

A few important tips:

Not everyone agrees with controlled crying but not everyone has seen the success I have seen with so many happy babies and even happier and rested parents.

Sleeping issues are an individual situation with varied solutions, but I can at least give you some sensible advice. If you wish to consult with me make an appointment through my website and within an hour of talking to you I can problem solve what the issue is with your baby.

How do you feel about passive settling? Did it work for you?

SCROLL THROUGH the gallery to see adorable photos of Bec Judd with her kids...

Bec Judd with her son Oscar

Bec Judd with her daughter Billie

Bec Judd's son Oscar

Bec Judd's son got a funky new hair cut

Bec Judd's son Oscar, 3, getting his hair spiked up

Bec Judd's son Oscar

Bec Judd's son Oscar

Bec Judd's daughter Billie