real life

"I'm the head bridesmaid - but my partner has been snubbed."

It’s the biggest honour a woman can bestow on her girlfriend – to be Head Bridesmaid. But what happens when you’re the best supporting actress but your leading man doesn’t even get an invite?

When you’re asked to step in to the Maid of Honour role you feel a surge of excitement, entitlement, responsibility and absolute superiority. You’re not just a guest, or a bridesmaid handing out pamphlets of the order of service. You are the bride’s right hand woman, the Kath to her Kim and the holder of her dress when she needs to pee.

You may look like this when they’re trying on wedding dresses.

There is no other role like the Maid of Honour. You get to stand up next to the bride, your best friend and peer down at the other guests. You get to look radiant (without stealing the show) standing next to the bride. And your partner gets ALL the bragging rights.

If he’s invited that is.

The 9 stages of being a bridesmaid.

You see, I had this great role bestowed upon me – for a wedding coming up in March. I was gifted with the title – Maid of Honour late last year. And since accepting the title I have done everything to help make this day the most incredible one the bride has ever had.

Because bridesmaids are the organisers of fun.

For the last 6 months I have devoted my life to her. I have spoken about dresses and trawled the shops with her until we found the perfect fit. I searched online to help find the bridemaid’s dresses, I organised the perfect hen’s day and made beautiful invitations for it. And I helped craft her invites for the actual wedding day.

I waited for mine in anticipation.

I can’t afford to be your bridesmaid.

It came – two came in fact. One for my whole family and then another for me (and my partner I thought), but as I ripped open the envelope I saw one measly name on the card that I held in my hand. It simply read: Ashley Morris.

She should’ve just sent my partner this slap in the face.

At first I was shocked: This must be a mistake.

Then I was confused: Did she just forget about him?

Then I was mad: How could she pretend that my partner of six years (SIX years) doesn’t exist?

Then I was sad and deeply hurt: Why does she not want him there? How will I break the news to him?

And before you accuse me of being a bridesmaid-zilla, hear me out. And help me out.

Would you hire a bridesmaid from the internet?

I don’t know how to approach the subject. She has said nothing to me, but I am struggling to stay silent about it. It’s now an awkward silent stand-off between me and the bride.

This will feel slightly awkward now.

I don’t know if I am being unreasonable. It’s not my day, I am completely and fully aware of that. But I am in a de facto relationship with a man that I’ve been with for over six years. She knows him well, as does her fiancée and her entire family. My whole family were invited to the wedding – but he has been left out.

I don’t want this to become an awkward topic between us. I don’t want to feel any hostility toward her at this stage in her life. And I have never wanted to be that person who makes their best friend’s day about them.

Bridesmaids will spend $1, 695 on their friends wedding.

But what am I supposed to do – Should I say something? What if she has genuinely forgotten? Is this normal? Should I just let it silently, awkwardly slide by?

I was so proud to be a Head Bridesmaid, but now, I’m not so sure I want to keep the title.

What would your advice be?